Snuggling

No matter how old they are, these boys love to snuggle with their Daddy! :)

~ April 25, 2005 in Tel Aviv
~ August 8, 2007 in Virginia

Mind Games

Josiah is at such an imaginative stage of life. I am continually amused and fascinated by the twists and turns of his brain as he pretends to be or do various things.

Take today, for example. In just a few short hours, Josiah was...

~ a guitarist and singer in a band
~ a doctor checking his stuffed puppy's heart
~ and taking his stuffed puppy's temperature
~ and giving his stuffed puppy a shot

~ a cook, specializing in cakes (ready in 10 seconds or less!)--I "ate" chocolate cake, strawberry cake, coconut cake, lemon cake, and grape pie, all within the span of about 5 minutes--Mommy's got to play along with the games, after all!

~ a statue--I'm not sure where he got this idea, but he LOVES to pretend that he's a statue--he'll come up with these crazy poses, usually involving his chin in his hands, and he'll hold the pose until I make him smile or laugh

~ a barber, riding away to work on his tricycle, going onto the porch and cutting hair furiously, then returning home to proudly announce how many haircuts he did today

~ Lentil, a harmonica-playing boy (from the book Lentil by Robert McCloskey)

~ a hunter, looking for robbers upstairs

He's quite a busy boy!!! :)

That last role that Josiah played has got me puzzled--the latest in my chain of parental dilemmas! I love how free and creative Josiah has been in his pretending, but recently he has pretended to be looking for bad guys and pretended to be scared of certain things (like his closet, for example) because of the bad guys he might find there. I think he really is pretending and is not genuinely afraid of those things because of the silly manner in which he is play-acting; but I also think it may be even an unconscious action on his part to deal with some real fears that he may have. However, the dilemma is this. When Josiah does this, David picks up on it and gets genuinely scared. David always gets roped into the role of "partner in finding imaginary criminals"; and, while Josiah seems able to play that game and then put it behind him, David doesn't understand what's going on enough to separate fantasy and fact. I wonder...should I simply ban Josiah from pretending in this way? what if it really is his way of dealing with unspoken fears? how do I protect David's little mind and heart through all of this?

Five Things

Five things I appreciate about our church:

1. the mixture of old and young people there--it is amazing to me how many 3-generation families there are in the congregation--with our own 3-generation family, we are enjoying so much the opportunity to worship together; and it's wonderful to see other families doing the same

2. the mixture of traditional hymns and contemporary worship music--there is a part of my soul that is nurtured by old-fashioned a cappella four-part hymn singing--there is another part of my soul that is nurtured by modern worship music with instruments and greater freedom of expression--this church is one of the very few I've seen that actually combines both (and does not need to hold two services to do so)

3. the involvement of the youth and the children in the services--it's not the kind of church that simply ships off the kids to another part of the building while the adult service is happening--it's so encouraging to see young people involved in the worship team, drama, piano preludes, even the speaking, and other parts of the service

4. the huge emphasis on service--it's obvious that the people there truly care about a suffering world around them, and service is such a part of their church culture that it seems to come naturally--even among this denomination's detractors, there is widespread respect for their service and outreach

5. the humility we've seen there--coming from our background, humility was the one aspect that I was most thirsty for; and I have been soothed by the waterfall of humility that has poured over us during our time there

Sylvan Drive's Newest Occupants

The newest occupants of our corner of the world are twin red-and-white Holstein bull calves that our neighbors bottle-fed, then turned loose in our pasture. So now our dog Molly gets to chase them and good old Sweetie Pie around and around. :) It really is nice to see those calves grazing up in the pasture and to hear them moo-ing for their food around dinnertime; they are a much nicer way to keep the grass down than a lawnmower and their "moos" make me feel like I live on a farm!

Last evening Josiah and David thought it was fun to stick their hands through the fence and let one of the calves (the adventurous one) lick their fingers. When we told Jeff about that, he decided to gross Josiah out by telling him that some people eat cow tongue meat in their tacos. :) Josiah was--indeed--grossed out.

Josiah's New Favorite Book to "Read"

We checked this book out of the library this week, and it immediately became a new favorite in our household. I was thinking of David when I chose it because of the colorful pictures of cars and the simple words. Little did I know that Josiah would latch onto it and quickly learn to "read" the whole book--part actual reading and part memorization. He's having so much fun with it and is so proud of himself; it's especially nice to see him sit down with David and "read" the book to him!

We have finished 6 weeks of "official" homeschooling, and they have been wonderful! Josiah is really taking off in his reading, and I'm absolutely delighted about that. Not that he's reading Shakespeare yet. :) But tonight for example, he, out of the blue, took the initiative to read some groups of words in a word family chart that we have. He read the "ab," "am," "an," & "at" word families--maybe another one that I can't recall at this moment. Some of the words were very simple to decipher, like "sad" or "hat." But Josiah was even able to figure out quite a few of the more difficult words that began with a consonant blend, like "crab" or "grab." Those are words that we have never worked on together, and it was especially exciting to hear him decipher those! I can tell that the phonics principles we're learning together are paying off as he uses them to help him figure out words.

The area of reading was the ONE area that I felt a little nervous about teaching him, so now to see him advancing in this area is truly rewarding! :)

A Precious, Smiling Face

During a low moment a few days ago, I sat down in a rocking chair and was soon presented by this work of art: Josiah's list of who he loves. How could I be tired or sad or discouraged or frustrated with this sunshiny grin and declaration of love shoved in my face??? :)

Another Angle

While reading a devotional from Prayers & Promises for Mothers recently, I received an insight that is helping me in my ongoing struggle with patience. The verse at the beginning of the devotional was 2 Timothy 2:24 which says:

And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient.

Here is the rest of that devotional:

Lord, it's abundantly clear that gentleness and patience go together. I am not by nature a patient person, and that leaves the possibility of gentleness in question. If there's one thing children need, it's a gentle mother. They need to be assured by soft words and easy handling. Then, regardless of what they do and no matter what the surrounding circumstances are, they will know they are loved.

Harsh words break down self-confidence and harm a child's feelings of being worthwhile. Oh, help me, Father, not to be responsible for such destruction in the lives of my children. Guide me in how to gently and patiently teach them, discipline them, and love them. I want to give my children confidence in who they are and what they can do for You.

This new take on the patience dilemma has already been helpful to me as I have added the thought of being gentle to my daily struggles. It seems obvious that gentleness and patience go together, yet somehow being aware of the need for gentleness has given my mind a new way to approach challenging situations. To be gentle in my voice and in my movements is a specific way to practice and show patience; and that has given me a new area in which to grow in an old, old problem spot!

Week 16

~ "hey, lady, are you even pregnant???"

~ "oh...well...yes, I guess you are!"

I'm at the amusing stage of pregnancy when, depending on what I wear and from what angle I'm seen, I can either look not pregnant at all or really, really pregnant. Last night my parents ate dinner with us, and both of them--independently of each other--remarked about how big I looked. But today when I see these pictures, I don't think I look big at all! When I wake up in the morning, I have to decide, "Do I want to look big or small today?" :)

Recently when I've taken these weekly pictures, Josiah has wanted to be in them (in these pics, he's got his "cheese" face plastered on)...which is fine with me because this pregnancy is certainly not occurring in isolation, and sibling involvement will be significant to this baby from the very beginning of his/her life. I love the fact that Josiah talks about the baby so much and is so aware of what's happening! A week or two ago, Josiah said that he's really looking forward to holding the baby for the first time as soon as he sees him/her. When David was born, we did the obligatory big brother holding little brother pictures, and I adore those pics. But this time around, there is so much more knowledge and awareness in Josiah's head; and the fact that he's really excited about the baby makes me even more excited about it, too!

Old & New

Yesterday one of my projects was to mulch around my little magnolia trees. Josiah helped me, and we had fun together and got the job done fairly quickly.

Later standing in front of our big front window, I looked across the lawn and saw this sight...and loved it. The two tall maple trees standing in front, close to our driveway, with two of our little magnolias in the background, next to our neighbor's driveway. I was reminded of the fact that the maples were planted by my parents (I don't remember what year), but it was certainly within my lifetime and hasn't really been that long ago, if I remember correctly. And now look at those maples! Tall, strong, gorgeous in the fall, simply beautiful.

Now at just a foot or two tall, my magnolias lack majesty but make up for it in promise. To plant a tree, one must be a visionary--and a patient one at that! I find my vision is helped by seeing the examples of growth that surround me here in this place.

These Boys!

David, our little 2 year-old David, knows all his letters very well...AND knows them in order. His latest obsession when presented with paper, crayons, and a willing adult is to demand that the adult write the alphabet for him. "A, A," he'll loudly call. And I'll write an "A." Then quickly he's on to "B, B." And I'll write a "B." Then "C" (which he still pronounces as "E" because he can't make an "S" sound yet). But don't make the mistake of thinking he means "E" and therefore write an "E"--oh, no, it must be a "C." A certain amount of mind-reading and lots of common sense is necessary to parent a toddler.

He was looking at the book yesterday, Joseph Wants to Read; and in the book there is a page where Ms. Giraffe, the teacher, is standing in front of the blackboard on which is written the alphabet. David was very bothered by the fact that she is standing in front of some of the letters. As he went through the alphabet, he could not find the "L" that he KNOWS goes after "K"--and that was simply terrible. :)

As for Josiah, here are several endearing things from him recently:

~ yesterday I gave him a choice of watching a DVD we had checked out from the library about rescue vehicles or a DVD that we had bought at our local Christian bookstore; his response was this: "I think I'll watch the bookstore one if it's about God because I really need to learn about Jesus and try to be good."

~ last night as he lay in bed and TRIED to go to sleep in spite of his little brother's antics, he made up this song and was singing it to God: "I raise my hands to worship You."

~ today the children's ministry coordinator at our church came over for a visit, and Josiah asked her, "Do you know how many letters are in the name Methuselah?"--not surprisingly, she did not know off the top of her head, and Josiah quickly said, "Ten!" I barely remember talking with Josiah about Methuselah, but obviously the length of his name was impressive to Josiah. :)

Men & Women

One thing that experience has taught me is that men and women are different. Boys and girls are different. They're just different. We're just different. It's that simple.

I realize this is no profound discovery; but in one specific area, this truth helped the light bulb come on in my head this morning.

Here are some questions I have pondered in the past:

~ Why does a messy house (messy room, messy desk, etc.) put me in a bad mood, but seem to have no effect on Jeff?

~ When we first moved here, why did Jeff worry so much about finding a job and push himself so hard to find one as quickly as possible, rather than thinking (like I did), "Hey, we're living in my parents' house; there's plenty of food here; we still have money in the bank account. Life is good. Let's relax and celebrate!"

~ From the earliest days of our marriage, how could Jeff possibly have suggested that I leave the dirty dishes on the counter after a meal and, instead of washing them promptly, come and cuddle on the couch with him?

~ Why does Jeff strive so hard to "get ahead" financially? Why is he always planning, dreaming, "scheming" new ways to make money? Isn't he content with our income and lifestyle which, although certainly not extravagant, is more than sufficient for our needs and many of our wants?

~ Why, on his days off, do I get so excited about all the projects we can accomplish, until I realize that's the last thing in the world he would like to do on a day off?

~ When redecorating, why do I come up with all these wonderful (in my opinion) ideas of things to buy and do, but then feel like I have to tiptoe on eggshells to present my ideas to Jeff who always sees things through the glasses of dollar signs?

~ Is it really true that it doesn't bother him if I'm behind on laundry or cleaning, or is he just saying that to be nice? Is it one of those secret things that actually eats at him; and when he's 85 years old, he'll be complaining, "She never could keep the house clean!"

Simple answer: we're different. But more in depth, here's what I realized this morning.

There is something in me, a God-given trait, that loves to create beauty and bring order to things--to my home, the flowerbeds, picture files on the computer, our schedule, and everything else imaginable. (This was actually a bit of a revelation to me because I've never considered myself a "creative" person; but even though I'm not "crafty," I do love, without a doubt, to do things to bring about beauty and order.) There is something in Jeff, a God-given trait, that loves to work and provide for his family.

That "something" in me is uncomfortable (read, grumpy) without beauty and order, but is calmed by tackling a project to restore beauty and order. That "something" in him is uncomfortable (read, grumpy) without a source of income and financial security, but is calmed by finding an unexpected source of extra money or by having a clear budget and plan for achieving financial goals.

When that something in me and that something in Jeff is working together in harmony, what joy! What peace! What success we can have in life! But too often, I find the something in me fighting against the something in Jeff, putting down his God-given traits as being somehow less worthy than my own. I find myself critical of what I perceive as his constant worry over our finances; and it's all too easy to think, "My goodness, what is he worried about? Doesn't he realize we're doing fine? We're paying all our bills, we're lowering our debt each month (college debt and purchase of the business debt). He's such a good provider; I've never worried about finances. Doesn't he know it's wrong to worry? Sure, we're not millionaires, but it's obvious that money doesn't make people happy. When will he ever relax about this? And by the way, when is he ever going to help me clean out the garage?" (I had to put that last one in there because cleaning out the garage is such a joke around here. Suffice it to say that the former occupants didn't exactly clean it out before they moved, and I'm sure there are some quite interesting "vintage" items in the garage. To say the least, it's an overwhelming job!) :)

As I was thinking about all of this earlier today, I realized that God made us different for very good reasons (of course!). If I wasn't slightly uncomfortable with huge piles of laundry and unmade beds, those jobs might rarely get done around here. If I didn't love to dream about what to hang on the walls in the boys' room, their walls might be bare for the next 10 years. So rather than berating myself because I have this innate need to mulch my magnolia trees or spend time and money to order prints of pictures and put them in an album, I can rejoice that God made me this way.

In the same way, when Jeff starts talking about finances again or expresses envy for others' more prosperous financial positions, I can rejoice that God made him that way. After all, if the finances were completely in my court, I might be depending on dear ole Dad every month to bail me out; and we might not have any savings account at all. And the stock market--well, I'm sure I wouldn't have anything invested in that!

So here's to a fresh start in the love and respect arena! I resolve to appreciate Jeff more and embrace our God-ordained differences, rather than at times wishing I was more like him or he was more like me. As I understand him and myself more, I can be more grateful for the way our minds work and can see more clearly how to work together to be a success as a couple and as leaders of a home and family.

Little Boy Blue

Jeff gave David part of a blueberry candy stick last night. David THOROUGHLY enjoyed it; but that's obvious from these pictures, I'd say. :) After David finished, I took him into the bathroom and washed his hands, rubbing them over and over with a generous amount of soap, but his left hand was still blue. Makes me wonder what kind of food coloring they use in that candy that makes the color so resistant to coming out!