Fall from Grace

Remember that nice little calf that belonged to our neighbors and was going to share our pasture with Molly to help keep the grass down this summer? In the beginning, we had such fun watching the two animals meet and get to know each other, and we wondered how they would influence each other. We were thrilled with the arrangement! Well...things have changed...

Sweetie Pie, the calf, is no longer a sweetie pie. In fact, "Stupid Calf" is the name that most readily comes to my mind when I think of her. I know, I know, it's not nice to call anyone "stupid," even a dumb calf. But for goodness' sake, she's not normal!!!

The first indication of her lack of intelligence was her love for a brush pile in the pasture. Even though she would get stuck in it and would need to be rescued, she returned to it over and over. What's that proverb about a dog returning to its vomit?...

But the real problem is this: she loves dog food. She goes crazy over it! Hello, calf, you're a COW. You've got plenty of grass, hay, grain, etc. You don't need to eat dog food. In fact, when you eat it, you're probably eating some of your distant relatives since the dog food we give Molly is not exactly vegetarian dog food.

Obviously, Sweetie Pie doesn't listen to reason.

After a while of feeding Sweetie Pie's addiction, we decided enough was enough; and we were going to try to stop it. So Plan A was to start putting Molly's food in her dog house so she could get to it, but the calf couldn't. Only...well...the calf could...if she tore the dog house into two pieces...which she did. (The dog house is hard, sturdy plastic, with a top piece and a bottom piece that fit together. Usually, it fits very snugly, but not after the calf got through with it.)

Plan B was for Jeff to build a triangular enclosure big enough for Molly's house, food bowl, and water bowl with boards low enough that Molly could get under them to reach her stuff, but the calf couldn't. Only...well...the calf could. Now we figure she's training for the circus as a limbo calf or something cuz she's seeing "how low she can go"!

Plan C was to reinforce the above structure with chicken wire, big stumps, and the big water trough so that, once again, Molly could get through, but the calf couldn't. Only...well...you guessed it. She could, she can, and she does. Jump a stump while ducking under a board--no problem for this calf! Tromp through a water trough--not a big deal! Bend the chicken wire--sure! Just as long as she can eat dog food! Whatever you do, don't get between her and her beloved dog food.

The last straw--and the prompt for this post--was that when I went up to the pasture just a little while ago to feed Molly, I discovered Sweetie Pie hanging around, just waiting for her precious meal of dog food. And Molly's water bowl was all muddied up from Sweetie Pie's clumsy hooves. And I discovered a great big cow patty (that's poop for you non-country folks) in Molly's food bowl. It was disgusting. I may be a country girl, but I'm also a pregnant country girl...and having to clean a cow patty out of my dog's food bowl is not high on my list of desirable activities. Plus, because of the enclosure Jeff made, it is difficult for me to get in to reach the bowls (normally not a problem because we can pour the water and food over the top of the fence). Unlike that silly calf, I'd rather not do the limbo at this stage of life, so the alternative is to go over. But for a pregnant lady to straddle a thin wooden board to get into a small enclosure with a dog and a calf to get a poop-filled bowl...well, it's just not pretty.

The real last straw is that as I was walking away to clean the bowl, fill it, and return it to the ungrateful beast, Sweetie Pie had the nerve to kick at me with her back leg. Now, I'm not an animal psychologist; but to me it seemed very deliberate. Maybe she can sense my growing dislike of her. You think??? Fortunately, Sweetie Pie is still small enough that I'm not scared of her; but a well-placed kick to my abdomen could definitely make me see red and probably try to strangle her with my bare hands.

To be fair, we haven't talked with our neighbors about this; but in the past, they have assured us several times that if the calf got to be a problem, they would take her out of the pasture. I have no doubt that we'll figure out a solution, and our neighbors would bend over backwards to make sure Sweetie Pie wasn't causing problems for us. Jeff and I had thought with his little building project, everything would be fine, so that's why we didn't bring it up to them yet. But obviously, things are not fine.

Something's gotta give!