The Answer

Apparently, Bonnie, in her free time from being the mother of three adorable little munchkins, is an amateur sleuth, because her comment about why David was wearing a dress was right on. Here are a few of the details she missed! :)

Yesterday, our homeschool co-op had a field trip, for those who wished to participate, to the Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library, Museum, and Birthplace in nearby Staunton, Virginia. I remember a fun field trip there as a school girl, and I was glad for the opportunity to take Josiah and David (and my mother stayed here with Tobin and canned applesauce while he slept, so all my boys had a good morning). Actually, Josiah and David had both been there once before--in the fall of 2006 when Jeff's sister and her family came from California for their first visit to our "new" home. Since their last name is Wilson, it was only appropriate that we take them to the first home of President Wilson! What I remember mostly from that trip is the anxiety I felt as we toured the home, knowing that one of the dear little boys in our group could, in just a moment of not obeying the rules, ruin something priceless and irreplaceable! During yesterday's visit, I was much more relaxed. :)

The students from our co-op were divided into three groups, based on their age; and I don't know about the other groups, but I must say that our tour guide did a very good job of tailoring her talk to the level of the students in our group. She made it interactive and talked about things that would be interesting to them. I thought it was very well done.

In the picture below, the students (before they divided into the groups) learn about Wilson's presidential car. Pretty fancy schmancy for its day, it was!
Josiah (with David right in front of him but hard to see) listens intently.

We weren't allowed to take pictures inside the home itself where Woodrow was born (Woodrow is his middle name, by the way...Thomas is his first, and he was called Tommy as a boy); but after that part of the tour, we got to experience a schoolroom of his times, and the children got to draw on slates and practice handwriting. The next time Josiah complains about the simple handwriting I make him practice, I'll remind him of the elaborate handwriting that Woodrow had to master!

I wasn't sure how fully David, at 3 years of age, would be able or would want to participate in all the activities; but he jumped right in without hesitation...

...and drew a house as instructed (one house, two chimneys, three windows, four trees, etc.).

Josiah concentrated fully on the task at hand, as is his nature.

And then it was time to learn about the toys of Wilson's day...and dress up...and play! The girls weren't reluctant at all to rush to the closet with the girl clothes and choose something pretty.

One little beauty...

...and another.

And another? Except--wait--that's a boy! So "handsome" is the word I'm looking for, despite the lacy ruffle around his neck. :)

So what's up with boys and dresses??? According to our guide, in the 1850s, it was customary for infant boys to wear dresses, then as they grew older, they wore "tunics" (which look like dresses to us), and then they were allowed to wear short pants under their tunics, and finally (around age 12 or 14, I think) were permitted to wear normal long pants like a man. The boys in our group yesterday got to experience a little of what the boys of that day went through; but of course, the boys of that day didn't know any differently so I'm sure it didn't bother them! Neither did it bother our boys who, almost as eagerly as the girls, went to the closet with the boy clothes and chose their desired finery. If either Josiah or David had resisted, not wanting to wear a dress, I wouldn't have pushed them a bit on that issue; but both were happy to wear a "tunic" and try out the old-fashioned games (which were not very easy, by the way)!

Besides seeing my boys in dresses, what I think I'll remember from yesterday is that Woodrow Wilson didn't know the letters of the alphabet until age 9 and didn't read until age 12. Despite his early difficulties with learning, he went on to become the highest-educated president ever, earning a Ph.D.--something no other president had done before or has done since. I'll also remember that almost all historians rank him in the list of top 10 presidents, usually around number 6 (according to our guide who could understandably be a bit biased). :)

All in all, it was a fun and educational day; and I'm glad we didn't miss the opportunity to participate in it! Because really, wasn't it worth it just to see David's cute face in a dress? ;)

A Question

Why in the world is David wearing a DRESS???

Answer revealed tomorrow! (If I get more time to blog tomorrow than I did today, that is...) :)

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By the way, for those of you who live in this area, I wanted to let you know that on Wednesday of this week at 7:00 PM at our church (Weavers Mennonite), the Covenant Players will be performing/ministering; and you're invited! It's a free event sponsored by our youth but open to all ages. I remember when the Covenant Players came to town a few times during my youth, most particularly a day or two after my grandfather died. I always enjoyed their programs, and I really look forward to seeing one again (and seeing what kind of impact it has on my boys this time around!). :)

Another great upcoming event at our church that is open to anyone is a showing of the movie Fireproof on Friday, Feb. 27, also at 7:00 PM. If you haven't seen it already, well, you just should. :) If you're interested in coming and would like childcare, let me know and I can help arrange that.

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The commercial is over. We return to our regularly scheduled broadcast. (Which was bedtime...good night!)

Simple Sunday - Chronicles of Narnia

~ thankful that our boys (two of them, anyway) are finally old enough to enjoy these treasures that I learned to love as a child...thankful for Jeff who has been reading them aloud to the boys...thankful for scenes of family togetherness and cuddle time like this...thankful for the profound spiritual principles that pervade these books

Valentine Blog Sabotage

17 Weeks...

Josiah was, once again, my photographer for this 17 weeks, 4 days picture. He already knows way more about photography than I ever learned as a child. :)
These are the golden days of pregnancy, it seems; I feel fairly good physically, have evened out emotionally, welcome the changing shape of my body, cherish the tiny kicks I feel every so often, and generally consider myself blessed beyond measure to be the carrier and nurturer of this little life. Even though it already feels like I've been pregnant "forever" and I can't even remember what life was like before that test came out positive, I still find myself occasionally surprised by the fact that I am indeed pregnant. Quite the contradiction, I know; but here's a specific example: whenever someone refers to me as, "Davene who is pregnant with her fourth child," I think for a second, "I am? Me? Pregnant with my fourth? Woah, that's sort of a large family. Is that really me they're talking about?" :)

Pregnancy, at this stage, still feels rather vague and abstract. I try to remember that there is a real live human being inside me. I literally lie in bed and imagine the arms and legs and face of my child. It's hard for me to do at this stage, however, so my mind jumps ahead to the actual birth and the almost shocking moment of "that's a BABY that just came out of me!" that I always experience. I think of how it might be when this baby is born, when I see its complete form for the first time, when I feel it in my arms and hold it just like a "real baby." My mind always puts Tobin's face into my thoughts though, and I guess I'm not skillful enough at abstract thinking to fully imagine a new baby being birthed from my body. Despite this, it is a joyful thing to pause and strive to connect with who this tiny one inside me really is!

This, of course, is one of the reasons I'm looking forward to my upcoming ultrasound (in two more weeks). I do anticipate that sense of connectedness growing as a result; but because we're choosing to not find out the gender, I think the big thing I'm looking forward to discovering during the ultrasound is where is my placenta??? The bleeding I had back in December could indicate that the placenta is in an undesirable location; and if so, that would change the way the rest of this pregnancy and even the delivery progress. On the other hand, the placenta could be doing just fine, in a completely harmless position. We'll know after the 25th!

Since last week's post and my soapbox ranting about healthy babies, I've thought quite a bit about what I wrote, what responses I received (comments here and in person), and especially Sally's words that she left in a comment. I think I'm getting my soapbox out again; beware!

Like Sally said, I too pray for perfect health for my children born and unborn. The thought of one of them being afflicted with a serious disease or disability pierces my heart with a pain that's unlike little else. But much more than I pray for physical health for myself and my family, I pray that each one of us will be continually transformed into the likeness of Jesus and that someday we will all be together in heaven with God and each other. May the circle be unbroken!

I trust God so much that I actually desire Him to do whatever it takes for those two goals to be achieved (and I know Sally does, too, so I am in no way pointing fingers at her or accusing her of faithlessness...far from it!). If God knows that having a handicapped little brother will be the key to unlock Tobin's heart and turn him to Jesus, then I welcome it. If God's plan includes one of our children becoming ill or even dying so that the hearts of people are turned to God and their final destination becomes heaven, then so be it! THAT is true health. THAT is true blessing. THAT is what I earnestly desire more than anything else.

I think I whip out my soapbox when I hear people defining "blessing" in such narrow terms--such worldly terms. Blessing=good health, a decent living, as many children as you desire, happiness, owning your own home, a life fairly free from hardship and suffering, etc. What is that??? In my opinion, simply an American "Christian" view of blessing, but not biblical. I know my thinking in this area is influenced heavily by Jesus's words in the Sermon on the Mount where He turns the thinking of His hearers completely upside down and shows that God's economy operates on values diametrically opposed to the world's. "Blessed are those who mourn..." Really? Blessed are Joel and Jessica as they mourn Cora's death? Do I want that kind of blessing? "Blessed are those who are persecuted..." Oh, yeah? Blessed is Sandul who is in prison in Pakistan for her faith in Christ? Are my hands open and my lips chanting, "Oh, yes, God, bless me in that way?" Those in the world will never understand what God views as important...and why He so often considers what we think so important to be meaningless.

I am very aware, of course, that so many times God does pour out upon us the blessings of health and prosperity and absence of war in our country and protection from natural disasters. He sends the rain in due season...He makes the crops in the fields grow until they're heavy with harvest...He forms perfectly healthy children in the womb and brings them forth at the appointed time. But those things cannot become the definition of "blessing," or we show ourselves to be very near-sighted as we continue to function solely in the mindset of the world.

Jeff, on his blog, just posted two incredibly moving videos of a man with no limbs (here and here). As I watched them, I couldn't help but think again of how the world would see something like that in the womb and not even think twice before choosing abortion. And yet, what beauty would have been lost! What an outstanding example of an overcomer would have never been shown to anyone! What glory to God would have never been revealed! What encouragement and inspiration to others struggling with various difficulties would never have been shared! What a tragedy--not that he has no limbs, but that the world would have considered him worthless, something to be tossed away in a pile of garbage.

As I continue through this pregnancy, my prayer is that, yes, God would grant health and fullness of body to our tiny one. But more than that--so much more than that--I pray that He would change us into His likeness. Do whatever it takes, Lord. Whatever it takes.

When Quiet Time Becomes QUIET Time

One of the aspects of our daily routine that makes my life much easier is our habit of 2-hour afternoon quiet time for Josiah and David. Yes, two hours. I know some families with this tradition get by with only one hour; but my boys don't know that yet, and I plan to keep this part of our routine until...oh, I don't know, they go off to college or something! ;)

It really is a valuable time, and not just for me! Since the boys get so much time together, I can see that it's healthy for them to have that time apart (one of them in the boys' bedroom and one in the guest room); and usually by the end of quiet time, they are ready to come together again and play happily, often choosing an activity that one or the other of them was thinking about during quiet time.

Tobin, of course, still naps every afternoon; but sometimes if he's not quite ready for his nap, I'll get him set up in the bouncy seat in the doorway of one of the rooms so he can watch one or the other of his big brothers. Then, after a while, I carry him off to his room, after he gets a hug and a kiss from both Josiah and David, and tuck him in his crib.

Occasionally, if one of the "big" boys is sick, or has been unusually tired and grumpy in the morning, or is going to stay up late that night for whatever reason, I have him take a nap. But unless there are special circumstances, they do just fine with quiet time...and it sure makes it easier for them to go to sleep in the evening when they haven't napped during the daytime.

During quiet time, they play with toys, look at books, draw pictures, etc. And sometimes, even when I don't plan on them napping, they fall fast asleep.

Like Josiah did on the guest bed one day last week...
Like David did in Josiah's bed yesterday...

And like Josiah did yesterday in Tobin's bouncy seat in the upstairs hall...

I can't imagine that he was very comfortable in that, but he slept that way for quite a while!

When things get very quiet upstairs, I usually tiptoe up to see where everyone is. I never get tired of watching my boys sleep. I'll definitely be the kind of mother who still creeps into her 15 year-old son's room in the middle of the night to pull up the covers and give him an extra kiss. :)

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On another, much more serious note, I was reading this blog last night of a family in Kansas whose 11 month-old daughter Cora recently died of cancer. They only discovered that she had cancer about 3 weeks before she moved on to heaven and the comforting arms of Jesus. Three weeks is not long, not very long at all. As parents, how would you ever prepare your heart in such a short time? If you have a few moments and need a wake-up call to love your own children more tenderly and patiently today, I highly recommend reading about Cora. And please, say a prayer for her family. Their faith in God and the support system they have around them is sustaining them, but I can only imagine that such grief is far beyond words.

Simple Sunday - Mantel

~ thankful for this mantel display...not that it would win any awards in a decorating magazine, but to me it's highly significant because of what the wall hanging says ("All because two people fell in love...") and the pictures on the mantel that illustrate that principle...first, there are pictures of my grandparents (paternal and maternal), then a picture of my parents, then of Jeff and I, and then finally of our family of five...I only wish I had pictures of Jeff's side of the family to place on this mantel, too...it is amazing to me to think about all the "life" that God had to weave together for many years to bring about my life and Jeff's and the lives of our children...not only do Jeff and I have a unique story of how we met and decided to marry, but also our parents do, and their parents, and their parents, and on and on...and now I look at our boys and think, "It really is because two people fell in love; and not only that, God blessed their love and made it grow"...for that, I am very grateful!

The Sun Still Shines in February

It's no secret that winter is my least favorite season, no secret that I struggle to find joy in freezing temperatures, no secret that I long with ardor for the warmth and longer light of spring days.

However, as I've been working on attaining and maintaining a spirit of contentment this winter, I have found some things about this season for which to be grateful!

1. The sun still shines in February! Yes, it really does; and when it sparkles off the snow-covered ground, it's dazzling.

2. Plants still grow! At least, this young tender sprout of a marigold plant is indeed growing in our kitchen windowsill. When Josiah brought this cup of dirt out of his Sunday school class, I had my doubts about whether anything would really come up. But it did! Rather, they did, for now two lovely stems are poking their little heads out of the dirt and lifting my spirits with the promise of new growth.
3. We don't have to worry about bee stings in the winter.

4. There are no hordes of ants roaming my kitchen, looking for stray crumbs or bits of juice on the countertops.

5. No mosquito bites.

6. No swarms of buzzing flies. (See the theme here?) :)

7. There is no pressure to work outside in the garden.

8. I don't think to myself, "I'd better go weed that flowerbed now!"

9. No need to rake leaves. (The above three items I do enjoy, by the way; but the fact that I don't have to do them--or even think about doing them--in the winter frees up my time to accomplish other things, like...)

10. Lots of time for reading to the boys! If I could snap a picture that epitomizes this winter so far, it would be me sitting on the couch, with Josiah on one side and David on the other, and a pile of books beside us (Farmer Boy is a current favorite). Or if I could record a sound, it would be Jeff's voice reading The Chronicles of Narnia to the boys. Perhaps when summer comes with its long glorious evenings outside, I'll wish for the chill of winter when nothing was more appealing than cuddles and books.

When Jeff Goes Grocery Shopping

I am well aware of the fact that I'm in a fortunate minority when I say this: my husband loves to go grocery shopping. Blessed indeed--that's me!

There is, however, one problem. He always buys SO MUCH STUFF! What do I do with all of the groceries he brings home? Where do I put them? With overflowing cupboards (from his previous shopping trips, of course), my options are getting limited. It's a very good thing we have an entire room of our house devoted to food storage, but even that is getting pretty full.

Jeff's philosophy, when shopping for food, seems to be, "If buying one is good, then buying two or three or six or ten is even better!" Here are some examples, all of which really happened yesterday:

~ I needed some macaroni, so on the shopping list I wrote "macaroni"--and, in an effort to be extra helpful and specific, added the words "plain, dry." Jeff returned with 9 pounds of plain, dry pasta--elbow macaroni, rotini, ziti, angel hair pasta, and egg noodles! 9 pounds!!

~ I asked for black olives. Jeff brought home 7 cans! Now we have medium, large, extra large, and jumbo black olives!

~ I put baby food on the list and, once again, was very specific: "apples & chicken." Not only did Jeff buy that, he also threw in some sweet potatoes & chicken and pineapple-glazed ham, just for kicks!

~ I'm planning to serve a spinach and strawberry salad to the guests we're having over tomorrow evening. "Strawberries" went on the list. At the first store Jeff went to (Sharp Shopper), he found strawberries and bought a package of them; but when he got to Wal-Mart (to finish his shopping by buying all the things he couldn't find at the cheaper store), he noticed that the strawberries there looked better than Sharp Shopper's. Into the cart went two more packages!

~ I was craving red delicious apples. Jeff bought some at the first store he went to, then at the next store he thought he'd get some more, just in case the first kind he got weren't exactly what I wanted!

~ I did NOT write "candy" on the list. However, Jeff (who claims I'm the one with the sweet tooth and he prefers salty stuff) bought gummy bears, fireballs, and Sunkist fruit candies (which have vitamin C in them so they're just what our boys need to help them get over the little colds they have now)!

I have to laugh when the groceries are unpacked after Jeff goes shopping and I look around the kitchen at my overflowing countertops. Jeff claims his over-and-above shopping performance is related to the sense of security he gets from having plenty of food around; and to his credit, he gets great deals on the stuff he buys. I just think it's funny...and I think he's wonderful!!! ;)

Something's Missing...

...from the mouth of my firstborn.
After about a month and a half of wiggling, Josiah's first baby tooth to fall out gracefully made its exit today. Josiah was standing in the kitchen before lunch; and as I glanced at him, I saw his loose tooth at an unbelievable angle to the rest of his teeth and a little bit of blood starting to flow. I thought, "That tooth is going to come out!" And sure enough, Josiah himself, without a bit of fuss, calmly plucked the tooth from his mouth. I was so excited and proud. He's really growing up, that boy of mine!

After hugs and smiles and congratulations and a peek in the mirror by Josiah so he could see how his new smile looks, it was time to carefully tape the tooth in Josiah's baby book. I noticed that this first tooth to fall out was the first tooth he ever got; I wonder if it always works that way.
And so, another bit of our family history was made today. The event happened...it was photographed...the tooth was preserved...and now it's been blogged about--all within the space of a few hours. I wish I was this organized with all the important things that happen during the course of a day! But at least I caught this moment, and I'm grateful for that. :)

Snow Day

Snow--beautiful snow--began falling yesterday afternoon; and by night, our crepe myrtle bush looked like this in the glow from our porch light...
Today gave us this view from our front window......as well as this. I always think of an elegant lady wearing old-fashioned flowing skirts when I see the way these pine branches bend down to touch the earth when snow covers them.

Today I noticed the texture of the snow: the bumps and ridges, the shadows, and even the sparkles (which don't show up as well in this picture). It reminded me of a desert of pure white sand.

Our holly bushes have been loaded with berries this year. I took a picture of holly in the shade...
...and later, holly in the sunshine.

Outdoor toys always look a little forlorn to me during the winter months, as they wait for their young friends to come and enjoy them again during warmer weather.

This snow was glorious in the way it stuck to everything: every single branch...

...every seed pod...

...even an old forgotten tennis ball Jeff had hung in our English walnut tree for Josiah to practice hitting.

The woods across the Beery's pasture from us looked lacy to me this morning.

This picture reminded me of a hand outstretched to point, almost accusingly, into the clear blue sky. (It also showed me, after I came inside and was viewing the photos, how dirty the lens apparently was.)

Both the fencepost...

...and this birdhouse have a lovely cap of snow.
A lone pine was reaching into the nearly cloudless sky. Such beauty all around me!

But best of all, as I wandered around outside trying to capture the glory of this extraordinary day, I found this: Josiah, my own precious snow angel!

16 Weeks...

16 weeks and 2 days pregnant, with David Dear by my side to help you see how big my tummy is now...Josiah took this picture all by himself, by the way :)
This week of pregnancy started off with a bang--the kind of bang that leaves you hugging the toilet at midnight, wondering why in the world it's called "morning sickness," and realizing again why Josiah, every time he throws up, screams as if the world is ending. If I wasn't 32 years old, I might have been tempted to scream a little, too. At 16 weeks pregnant, I thought for sure I'd be done with all this unpleasantness; but no, I needed a little reminder of what reality is like for so many pregnant women. Once again, I thank God that in all my pregnancies, I've gotten off easy in the nausea department.

The next big event of this week came later that day, although this was decidedly more positive: I was certain that I felt fetal movement. Actually, I've known in a vague way that I've been feeling the baby for a week or two now; but on Saturday, while I was walking across the kitchen, I felt something that made me stop and think, "That HAD to be the baby." The best word I can think of to describe the way these early movements are feeling to me is "quivering."

Here's a random thought I've been having the past few days...I think this baby will be smaller than Tobin (who was 8 pounds, 14 ounces at birth). I have no idea why I think that, but I decided to note it here so that I can either look back after the birth and say, "I was right!" or "Ha ha ha, how silly of me to think I would have a smaller one!"

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend from church; and we got into the familiar boy-or-girl conversation. We agreed, of course, that either would be just fine; and my friend told me that with hers, she didn't care one way or the other AS LONG AS IT WAS HEALTHY. (I'm going to climb up on my soapbox now, so watch out.) It amazes me that the vast majority of people--Christians!--who would never say, "We'll only be happy if it's a girl," or "We know God will bless us with a boy," don't hesitate a second to say, "It doesn't matter to us what our child is, as long as it is healthy." What??? Do we only trust God for the gender of our child, but not for his/her state of health? Would we only accept a healthy child from the Lord, but not one who was sick or handicapped? Do we feel like either a boy or a girl is a blessing, but a physically or mentally impaired one is not? Are we so accustomed to hearing this sentiment expressed that it no longer raises the hackles on our necks? No wonder 85-90% of Down Syndrome babies are aborted! (This article from the New York Times says 90%.) With a percentage that high, I think it's safe to assume that some of those mothers choosing to abort are "Christians."

It's not that Jeff and I particularly want a handicapped child. It's not that I feel full of courage when I think about the prospect of raising a special needs child. It's not that we're asking for one. We are, however, asking for God to give us whatever He knows is best for us--be it boy, girl, healthy, sick, autistic, Down Syndrome, hole in the heart, missing a limb, etc. With gratitude and joy, we receive from God's hand whatever He reaches out to give to us.

With all these thoughts swirling in my head, I was particularly moved by these words from The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee (a book that Jeff just finished reading and recommended to me):
Oh, we must realize that all the experiences, troubles and trials which the Lord sends us are for our highest good. We cannot expect the Lord to give better things, for these are His best. Should one approach the Lord and pray, saying, "Oh, Lord, please let me choose the best?" I believe the Lord would tell him, "What I have given you is the best; your daily trials are for your greatest profit."

I'll climb down from my soapbox now, but pity the next person who remarks to me, "As long as it's healthy, right?" They just might get an earful!!! :)

Last night as I was reading back through the archives of Kate's blog, I saw this video she had shared. It brought me to tears--ah, no big surprise there!--but I wanted to include it here to share again the wonder that I feel as I go through my days, part of the miracle of new life that God is doing. To be a partner with him in the act of creation is beyond expression. I am unbelievably blessed.