The Exciting, the Fearful, and the I-Can't-Believe-You-Just-Said-That

Guess who took his first steps this evening?!?! At long last, Tobin Bear officially walked!!!!! At just four days shy of his nineteen-month birthday, I'd say he lands squarely in the late walker category; but that's just fine with me. He's an individual, that boy!

When this happened, I was nursing Shav while Jeff got down on the floor with Tobin to encourage him to walk. Fortunately, I grabbed the camera in time to actually capture the real first steps. This video is not a re-enactment! :) It was delightful to see how hard Tobin was concentrating on keeping his balance and getting his feet to work as he slowly and carefully took these steps. What a precious boy, and what a precious gift to have this video (especially because I don't have a video of either Josiah or David taking their first steps). Of course, in this video, Jeff and I can't contain our excitement so we sound like the goofy, proud parents that we really are. :)

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On to the fearful... Tonight we went to the Bergton Fair, something which everyone who lives in these parts should do once in their lifetime, I guess. :) However, to get to the Bergton Fair, we had to drive on the roads that lead to Highland Retreat, a beautiful camp that holds many wonderful memories for me...but unfortunately, one absolutely terrifying memory as well. At our church camp-out at Highland Retreat last year, Josiah was in danger of drowning (the story is here and here and here). As the end of August draws near, and with it the first anniversary of that dreadful day, and as we approach another church camp-out at the same camp, my thoughts have repeatedly flown back in time to the terrible memories from last year. Tonight, driving to and from Bergton, the fear was particularly strong in me. Jeff and I talked about it on the way; and he, being the sensible man that he is, doesn't have that same fear. Of course, I realize it's not exactly rational; but the connection between this time of year and that particular place and the events that occurred there are strong enough to cause undue anxiety in my heart; and I need to fight against it with strength and endurance.

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And now, the I-Can't Believe-You-Just-Said-That quote of the day... At the Fair tonight, Jeff and I were standing by the merry-go-round as Josiah and David were enjoying a ride on it. A friendly lady near us peered into the stroller I was pushing, saw Shav, and commented on his big blue eyes, etc. She asked me if he was my first, and I said proudly, "No, my fourth!" and then pointed out Josiah and David on the horses and Tobin in the stroller by Jeff. She said, "All boys?" and again I answered with motherly pride, "Yes!" And then she said, "Oh, how sad."

Excuse me??? Did you just say what I think you said? Mind telling me what exactly is so sad about having four boys? I happen to think it's one of the greatest blessings I've ever been given, and I can't even understand why you would think it's a sad thing...and even more, why you would feel like it's OK to make that comment in front of my sons! It's a good thing my oldest two were not in earshot, or that really would have made me hot. As it is, I'll stand here and smile at you as I quickly make some polite comment about how much I love having four boys; but my inner thoughts are far from polite. You may not know it, Friendly Lady, but you just pushed one of my buttons. Fortunately for you, I'm a pacifist; and I'll wait to vent until I'm at home writing on my blog! But let me make just one thing very clear: there is NOTHING sad about receiving the gift of four incredible sons from the hand of my Father in heaven who knows everything and has a perfect plan for my life and the lives of each of my four boys. Got that, or do I need to go on???