That being the case, it's obvious that I don't have a clear picture of what His expectations are for me since my plan for what I need to do each day is never even close to being possible to achieve. The pressure that results from thoughts of "I don't have enough time!" are not part of His plan for me...neither is the discouragement that comes as I do and do and DO, feeling all the while that I'm spinning my wheels and not accomplishing anything. I don't know how to fix this issue of time: knowing theoretically that I have all the time I need to do God's will, but nevertheless feeling stressed by HOW MUCH I HAVE TO DO and HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS TO MAKE PROGRESS ON MY NEVER-ENDING, ALWAYS-EXPANDING TO-DO LIST. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing better in this area, but the past few days I've felt the opposite.
All I know to do tonight is pray along with the Psalmist, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)
4 comments:
I love that scripture! Thank you for the reminder. God does give us enough time to do what He wants us to do. How often I forget too.
Sadly, I think this is the forever battle for all of us women. Never satisfied with what we accomplish. I remember years ago you telling me "There's a season for everything..." And I think that rings true for you now! You are in a season of child raising and you will be busy with that for a LONG time, but that season will end and you will be on to other things!! I will be praying for you to find the peace you are looking for, the satisfaction of knowing that you ARE doing what God has for you in this moment and the direction to know if you should be doing something different!! Love you!!
I remember uttering these same plaintive cries. (And I still do MORe than I care to own up to . . . )
Might I suggest trying a day without YOUR list and see what God brings along the path? It proved an eye-opening exercise for me way back when, and it changed my entire way of managing FOR THE BETTER.
You don't have to be brave . . . God is right there (and I, along with so many others, will be praying for you).
Take a rest, sweet mommy. Let go of the list and lay it at His feet.
Peace be with you, sweet one.
XO!
I remember how recently it seemed like day after day after day was filled with simply doing the next thing--and the next thing was blowing a nose, wiping a behind, feeding a mouth, kissing a bumpie, getting someone a drink, changing a diaper, fixing a bottle, and that filled every moment of every day for about a year. Then, after Hannah turned 1, slowly, there were a few minutes between "doing the next thing", and now, why, I can't believe how well I can make a pie, or clean the bathroom, etc., when all those things seemed impossible for so long.
I don't have four children, so I expect you are even busier than I was. But I remember the feeling. Just hang in there, because it is just a season.
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