Friday, October 30, 2009

If You Don't Have Plans on a Sunday Evening...

...your children will get squirrely.

If they get squirrely, your husband will kindly volunteer to take the oldest three and go out, leaving you with one small infant and a relatively quiet house in which to take refuge.

If they go out, they will first ask if you have a shopping list.

You will give them one.

If they are given a shopping list, they will go to Walmart.

They will find everything on your list.

They will walk through the bakery section and find something not on your list: chocolate-iced donuts.

If they find chocolate-iced donuts, they will buy them and bring them home for Monday morning's breakfast.

On Monday morning, all three of your oldest children will want one.

That includes your 21 month-old toddler.

You will give him one, not only because it hardly seems fair for him to have to watch his older brothers eat one while he is given a Nutri-Grain bar and your sense of fairness is strong when it comes to younger siblings (because you are one yourself), but also because you don't want to hear him scream.

He will devour the donut.
The chocolate-covered donut.
He will become a chocolate-covered boy, even suddenly and miraculously growing a mustache and beard to match his daddy's.
He will even finger paint on his highchair tray with the icing.
He will be happy.
Very happy.

And he will also need a bath immediately after breakfast, which is not exactly how you were planning to spend your Monday morning. Something about proper nouns and US geography and poetry and "U Is for Universe" was what was supposed to happen, but oh well...never mind... Bathing your child and cleaning up his highchair (which somehow got chocolate icing ALL OVER IT) takes precedence.

And all because it was Sunday evening and you had no plans.


Cherishing Young Biblical Womanhood said...

How precious!!

Valerie said...

been reading "if you give a moose a muffin" type books? ;) Adorable post, and great pictures. It looks like Tobin really enjoyed that donut. So cute.

Sally said...

Yeah, I have a different opinion about chocolate now that I have little ones. Man, oh man, I feel for you! I try to feed them the messiest food right before bath time! You are very gracious and patient, letting Tobin have a chocolate-iced doughnut. What a great Mommy!

Davene said...


It didn't take you long to figure out that Laura Numeroff was my inspiration, did it? :)

Her books are intriguing to me, not just because of the silly humor, but because of the lesson in logic that they provide: namely, that "if/then" statements that seem like they should be logical are sometimes anything but!

Somewhere along the way, during my years of education, I took a logic class...or else in a different class, we studied logic a bit...I can't really remember. Anyway, I wish now that I could take that class again because it is wayyyy more interesting to me now than it was back then! :)

Well, here I am now, having written a long comment...and all because you brought up If You Give a Moose a Muffin. ;)

Kristen said...

Love it! The joy that donut brought to him seems well worth a bath and a little scrubbing. :)

Elizabeth said...

Davene, your story was so delightfully written! You game me a great chuckle! :P And those pictures!

Patti said...

This is delightful AND I now have a strong desire for a chocolate doughnut. I, too, took a logic class in college, and, sadly, remember very little. I pretty much wish I could go back and take ALL of my college classes again.

Davene said...

All of these comments make me smile; you readers are so kind!

But they also make me think about The Great Donut/Doughnut Debate. Which is it?

I noticed that you commenters can't agree with each other. I don't blame you: I can't even agree with myself. In this post, I wrote "donut"...but in this post from 2008 (and if I could hyperlink it, I would; but I haven't learned how to hyperlink in a comment yet) - - I used "doughnut." James tells us that "a double minded man is unstable in all his ways." Looks like I'm in trouble.

I checked, the ultimate dictionary for lazy people like me who don't want to get out of their rocking chairs to go get an actual dictionary; and it had both spellings. So there. I'm OK; you're all OK. Nobody's wrong. Don't we all feel good about ourselves now?

Margie said...

I've seen do(ugh)nut spelled both ways and have never given it much thought. But now I know it can be either. And can sleep better!

One of the reasons I gave Sarah white cupcakes for her birthday is b/c chocolate is still such a problem! Stains, drips, the works. She and Tobin are kindred spirits in that area.