Last Year I Didn't Even...

...decorate my house for fall (a project that I love and look forward to with great anticipation).  I distinctly remember thinking about doing it, but then deciding not to worry about it.  Thick in the fog of Newborn-in-the-House Syndrome,  I could barely keep up with the essentials, much less the extras.  And decorating for fall was clearly an extra.

This year, however, is a different story.  Although there are still times when I feel like I'm not sure I can keep up with the essentials (like laundry...clean underwear for everyone in the house is kind of an essential!), I am keenly aware of how much more energy and vision I have for the extras this year.  I wouldn't say that life always feels easy, but it certainly feels a lot easier than it did a year ago!  My perspective is helped when I think back to September of last year, and I realize how far we as a family of six have come.

All of this went through my head this year as I joyfully pulled out my fall decorations which, although nothing fancy, are precious to me.  

Much more precious to me is the boy in the background of the above photo.  Let's take a closer look at him...

What are you doing, Tobin Bear?  Eating breakfast?  Smiling for the camera?  Happy that fall is almost here? Glad to see stuffed pumpkins and gourds and scarecrows around?

Me, too.  :)

Anger Like a Waterfall

~ Either Jeff or I took this picture at Falling Springs, Virginia - May 2007

This verse, as well as numerous other verses, reminds me of the seriousness of the role of leaders in God's kingdom.  However, regardless of what leadership position I personally may or may not hold, I want to live my life in such a way that I would never encounter God pouring out His anger on me like a waterfall.  Does God get angry?  Absolutely.  May we never be so focused on God's love that we ignore or diminish His holiness and justice...and yes, even His anger.

We Try To Keep Our Bible Studies Interesting

We had a few people over tonight for a Bible study.  We never want these evenings to be too dull and boring; but really, tonight the excitement went a little overboard.

1 five-year-old boy
1 board with a nail in it
equals
1 bloody foot
1 sobbing child
and
1 tetanus shot

Exciting indeed.

Hopefully the next Bible study we host will be a little less dramatic.  ;-)

When Jeff Heads to the Garden...

...his little two-year-old helper tags along.

Tobin has found such delight in being in the garden this summer with his daddy.

And he's learned a few things, too.

Like, if you put your fingers in your mouth after you've been picking hot peppers, you will regret it.

And, washing the peppers for Daddy is really fun because not only do you get to play in water...

...you also get thanked for being such a big, real helper. (He really is a real helper this summer!)

Most of all...

...being Daddy's buddy is the BEST.

Ten Tidbits

Every time I sit down at the computer, I'm struck with amnesia.

I check email, look at the new header on my blog, open my Google Reader, flit here and there; and after a while, I walk away from the computer...and suddenly realize that I didn't accomplish anything that I had intended to do when I sat down in front of the computer.

I usually have a plan--i.e. I need to send an email to our homeschool group, respond to Sally's question, and look up some info about volcanoes for Josiah--and then somehow, I don't remember to do ANY of it...until five minutes AFTER I leave the computer.

What's wrong with my brain?  I think I lose brain cells every minute I sit in front of this screen.  ;-)

********

I just finished reading Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss, and I discovered many gems in it.  But tonight I'm thinking of these lines in particular.  This, in a nutshell, is why I blog:
"How thankful I am that I kept this journal and that I have almost as charming ones about most of my other children!  What I speedily forgot amid the pressure of cares and of new events is safely written down and will be the source of endless pleasures to them long after the hand that wrote has ceased from its labors and lies inactive and at rest.
Ah, it is a blessed thing to be a mother!"

********

Josiah read six books today.  In one day.  Six books.  He's a wild man.  :)

His latest love when it comes to reading is Boxcar Children books, and we check out piles and piles of them from the library.  If we didn't have the library, we wouldn't be able to afford all the books that boy goes through!

He's so into it when he reads.  I love to hear his laughter in the funny parts, his anxiety in the suspenseful parts, his exclamations in the "now I get it" parts.  He LOVES trying to figure out the mystery before the author reveals it.

I don't know what books are going to capture his attention when he finishes reading the Boxcar Children ones.  Suggestions?

As far as movies go, he's really enjoyed Scooby Doo movies recently.  He's at the stage of getting a huge kick out of the silly humor in them, and I smile when I hear his peals of laughter float up the stairs as he cracks up at Scooby and Shaggy.

********

After having some cooler, suggestive-of-fall weather, we're back to hot, hot days again.  Fortunately, the nights cool down, and there's easily a 30-degree difference between high and low temps these days.

I have been extraordinarily grateful for our air conditioning this summer--more so than any other summer since we've been back.  Last summer, I thought I was going to be SO hot because of being so far along in my pregnancy; but it wasn't bad at all.  This summer, the heat has been far more bothersome to me, even though I'm not carrying an internal heater around with me!  :)

********

Speaking of summer, I've been grateful that we haven't had as many flies as we did last year (which seemed to be a record-breaker as far as the abundance of flies).  And speaking of record-breaking, we have not had ants in the kitchen once this summer.  Not once.  I'm flabbergasted.

It's certainly not due to the immaculate condition in which I've continually kept my kitchen because that - sigh - hasn't happened.  Nevertheless, I'm very thankful for whatever unknown factor has kept the ants away this year.

********

This was the scene in our front yard a few weeks ago:

The rabbit watched something.
The cat watched the rabbit.
I watched them both.

Fortunately, for the rabbit, he is fast; and the cat never got to do more than look.

********

This is what flexibility looks like for me these days:  I work in whatever room of the house Shav is happy in.

I might start the day with a plan to focus on my pile of paperwork by the telephone and to clean the refrigerator; but if Shav is playing happily in the laundry room, that is where I'll end up spending my time!  Or maybe I think I'll work in my room and finally get ALL the laundry folded and put away; but then I hear how well Shav and David are playing together in the living room, and I don't want to disturb that by moving Shav upstairs.  We all know the saying, "Don't wake a sleeping baby," but I'm adding a new one:

Don't move a content baby!

I can be flexible.  I can work wherever Shav is happy.  And goodness knows that I can always find something to do in each room of the house!!!

*********

Josiah loves paper, and he uses plenty of it.  Because I can't save every single precious scrap that he touches with a pencil, I've snapped these pictures instead:

~ a retelling of the parable of the man who found great treasure in a field

~ directions for how make "jewels" - I especially love the last step of the process, "Have fun."  That's an important step, yes?  So important that People Who Write Directions for Children's Activities often include it as their final instruction.  Ever noticed that?  Josiah did--and imitated it perfectly.  :)

~ Josiah's "What to do when I grow up list" - and then he didn't write anything - not one single career ambition - but that's OK: his career goals change almost daily, so it really would be too much trouble to write them all down!

********

You might be a country doctor if...

...your patients cry when they visit you for the last time before you retire, claim that you're a part of their family - and then hand you a bag of eggplants from their garden as a parting gift!

I surely am glad Dulcimer just posted a recipe using eggplants, because I had never cooked eggplants before and had no idea what to do with them when Dad handed me the eggplants that his patient handed him.

********

A quote that struck me:

My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.

~ Derek Loux

seen at Living to Love

In His Own Words

A little while back, I asked my dad if he wanted to write something for my blog, some reflections about his retirement, or whatever was on his mind.  He agreed, so without further ado, here are his words:

In my retirement, I am at another crossroad of life's journey.  After 41 years practicing medicine in the same office, it will be different.  This past Sunday our pastor preached on Jeremiah 18:1-10 which is the account of Jeremiah visiting the potter and seeing the fact that the potter will reuse the clay if it is flawed and remake it.  It impressed me that I am the imperfect piece of clay and I am at a stage that I will be remade by Him.  It is my prayer that I am not too "stiff" for Him to remake.  I know that I am considered "old," but I know that in His terms, I am not "old."  It has been a wonderful journey so far, and I am looking forward to the next part of my journey in which I will be kept "young" by interacting with my grandchildren in a more active way.  I feel that He wants me to be able to teach the next couple of generations things that He has made possible for me to learn.

So what's next for my dad?
~ a relaxing vacation to Three Hills Inn next week (my parents' favorite getaway spot because it's owned by some friends of theirs)
~ disposing of office stuff:  furniture, papers, various supplies, all kinds of "junk"  :)
~ preparing the building to be used as their home and moving in (there's no timetable for this...no rush at all...but my mother would like to be moved in by winter because the heating system is much better in the office than in their present house and, in her words, "I want to be warm this winter!!")
~ helping in our homeschool, probably with math and science (again, there's no rush with this; but eventually we'll find our groove for how to incorporate him; and I'm really looking forward to not having to grade math lessons!!)  :)
~ inclusion in the "famous" RODEO group (Retired Old Doctors Eating Out)
~ as-of-now unseen adventures - only God knows what the future holds!

The next chapter begins today!

The End

Today, when Dad locks the back door of his office and walks across the parking lot to his home, it will be the end of an era.

41 years and 13 days of practicing medicine here -- here in the brick office with the hitching post in the back.

Today he retires; and although I rejoice with him that this day has come, I'm almost too shocked to realize that it's true.  

A year ago, we celebrated 40 years of practice.  Somehow another year has flown by; and now, as a 70 year-old, he's ready to take this step.  I guess he's old enough.  ;-)

I talked on the phone a few minutes ago to one of his patients, a woman who's known him for 35 years, who first came to him with her fiancé to get a blood test before their marriage, who later heard from him the news that she was pregnant, who was planning to come in for one last appointment today but cancelled it because she knew she'd cry through the whole thing and she didn't want to add to Dad's burden.  "After 35 years," she said, "he's family."

That, he is -- to many, many people in this corner of the world.  And I'm so proud of him, I could burst.

Farewell, horses at the hitching post.

Farewell, parking lot full of cars.

Farewell, patients walking into the office, knowing that even if they weren't suddenly cured, at least they would receive kindness and a listening ear.

Farewell, office staff.  (Oh, wait, you have to come back to finish up the endless paperwork that's resulting from so many patients requesting that their records be transferred to new doctors!  You're not done yet!)  :)

Farewell, Dr. Huffman.

Farewell, white shirts every day of the week.

Farewell, the morning walk across the parking lot to the mailbox to get the newspaper and then into the office to open up and prepare for a new day.

Farewell, dear office where a Spanish-speaking immigrant could be treated in one room and an Old Order Mennonite with a laceration be waiting in the other room.

Farewell, 41 years of tradition.

One thing stays the same though:  you might be retired, Dad, but you'll always be Doc.  You don't get to retire from that!!  :)

Confessions

They say confession is good for the soul.  So here goes...

But first, I adore this boy.

Scooter II, I love you!

OK, time to tell my secrets.

1. I'm intimidated by baking.  Oh, cakes and cookies are easy enough; but anything involving yeast (bread, pie crust, bread, pizza crust, bread, cinnamon rolls, did I mention bread?) seems so difficult to me.  So I don't do it.  But one of these days/months/years, I'm going to be a big girl and get over my yeast-phobia and learn how to really bake.

2. I love McDonald's. I know smart, health-conscious people are supposed to dislike McDonald's because what do they make those hamburger patties out of anyway?  But honestly, McDonald's makes me happy.  I do get tired of it if I have to eat it a lot--by the end of our vacation last month, for example, I was more than glad to not have to eat McDonald's food for a while--but every once in a while, I love to pull into the drive-through, roll down the window, and order up some greasy, fattening yumminess.  I felt that way when we lived in San Diego (when I was pregnant with Josiah, I would occasionally get a serious craving for a Big Mac and Chicken McNuggets with sweet & sour sauce), when we lived in Israel (it was a treat for Jeff to take Josiah and walk to the nearest McD's and bring home food for us), and now that we live here.  I do not, however, like the silly, cheap plastic toys in the kids' meals; they clutter up our house until I can discreetly throw them away.

3. I'm not caught up on laundry.  Not even close.  In fact, my laundry situation hasn't been this bad in a long time.  Way back in February, I took drastic measures to conquer my laundry; and it worked.  But I haven't been able to maintain it so I've had ups and downs.  And right now, I'm having a major down.

4.  I rarely use my clothesline.  Despite the romanticism of fresh sheets hanging from the clothesline, I do not find it convenient to lug myself, a basket of clothes, and some boys out the door to the backyard so I can hang up clothes...which I will then have to return to in order to take them off the clothesline and bring them inside to be folded.  Maybe when all my boys are old enough to transport themselves--and mature enough to not wander off and to come inside when I say it's time to go in--maybe then I'll become a frequent clothesline user.

5. I haven't been doing well with my weight.  I rejoiced back in March when my scale registered lower than 150; but in the five months since then, the lowest I've ever gotten is 146.6.  And truthfully, my weight has bounced around between 147, 148, 149, and even higher.  This morning it was 148.8.  I need to be much more disciplined in this area if I'm ever going to lose the 10 pounds I'd still like to see disappear.  Ugh.

6. I have too many blog posts started.  I get an idea for a piece of writing I want to develop, but other things come up and I never get back to putting the time into it to finish it.  Right now, for example, I've got a dozen posts started; and some of them have been hanging out in my drafts folder for months.  Yikes.  I need more discipline in this area, too.

7. I never did get my homeschool closet organized.  In this post, I announced that I wouldn't be able to plan for homeschool this year without getting the closet organized.  Well, the closet is still a mess.  But somehow, the year is off to a great start!  Maybe that's because I rescued the books and supplies that I need from that closet and brought them into the living room which is indeed organized.  I don't have to look in that closet every day, which is wonderful.  I do, however, still need to organize it.  Sigh.

8.  I'm not good at watching movies with my boys.  I know that "good moms" sit down and watch movies with their children so they can discuss them together and use it as a teaching tool as well as bonding time.  I, however, use the time that Josiah and David are watching a movie to make dinner, clean up the house, do some laundry, make notes about things for school, etc.  I can't remember the last time I actually sat down and watched a whole movie with them.

9.  I can only keep one room of my house clean and neat at a time, it seems.  Tonight it's the living room that looks good.  I cleaned it today and put up fall decorations which made me happy--especially when I thought about how last year, I never did put up my fall decorations because I was so overwhelmed with life with Shav, the newborn.  Today I felt energetic, happy to not be pregnant, able to focus on more than just survival; it was fun, and I felt satisfied with my accomplishment.  But tonight, I look around at Tobin's room which has toys scattered all over it, the upstairs bathroom which needs more cleaning than just a swish & swipe, the laundry room (see #3 above), my bedroom which is not currently the peaceful retreat that I want it to be, etc.  And I feel discouraged.  What good is it to get one room in great shape when there are 10 other rooms crying out for attention?

Well, now that I've laid my heart bare, I'm supposed to feel better, right?  If confession is good for the soul, some relief should be making its way toward me soon, correct?  OK, peace, I'm waiting for you.

Ummm...you don't have to take so long.

Really, it's all right, you can come out now.

Peace?  Hello, peace?

Relief?

Good feelings?

Anyone?

Sigh.

I guess I'll go to bed.  Maybe they'll show up in the morning.

O Jerusalem

~ Dad took this picture when my parents came to visit us in Israel - Oct. 2004

I have been missing Israel so much recently, probably more than I have since we moved back from there.  I'm well aware that the physical Jerusalem held a much more significant role in the religious lives of the exiles who wrote Psalm 137 than it does for me; but even still, I echo their words as my own.  My real longing, however, runs far deeper than for a geographic place here on this earth.  The new Jerusalem is my true home.  May I never forget it!

Tonight Is for Listening

Who would have guessed that the little girl who, from shyness, hid behind her mother when someone approached and was known to cry when her brother's friend gave her a balloon would turn into a woman who talked typed so much, a woman with words pouring forth, a woman who always longed for more time to give expression to her thoughts?

But tonight -- tonight is for listening.  I need to hear His voice.

I have stilled and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother.

~ Psalm 131:2

Magnolias, Blood, & Childbirth

From Shav's window, I spotted a flash of white:  a blossom on one of the magnolia trees Jeff got me for my birthday a few years ago.  They're still spindly trees, and they don't blossom profusely--not yet, at least--so every single blossom is cause for rejoicing.

I wanted to see it closer so I carried my littlest son on my hip, beckoned the next two oldest sons to accompany me, and set off, still feeling the coolness in the morning air and the dampness on the grass.

There it was.  High enough above my head that I couldn't get the picture of it I had imagined in my mind, I simply held up my camera and pushed the button.  

A view of a magnolia blossom from below is still worth seeing.

********

You might be a mother of little ones if...

...an afternoon excursion to give blood while Grandma watches the children (and one child spends time at the barbershop with Daddy) is the most relaxing thing you've done all week.

That's how I felt this afternoon anyway.  Despite the tourniquet around my arm and the needle sticking in my vein, I thoroughly enjoyed my time and--for once--didn't regret the fact that I'm a slow bleeder.  I had a book to keep me company, of course (The Autobiography of George Muller, that my dear blogging friend, Margie, sent me), and was easily transported from the mall corridor where I reclined as my blood dripped out to Bristol, England, in the days of Muller.  That George.  He ALWAYS challenges and inspires me.

********

On Tuesday evening, we had Sally and her family over for dinner; and we loved having time with them and seeing (and holding) their sweet little three-week-old Marie.  As Sally and I were talking about Marie's birth and swapping details of our other birth stories, it dawned on me again that I sort of fell into natural childbirth through default.

Before Josiah was born, I thought it would be great to have a natural childbirth.  I also thought it would be great if the pain wasn't very bad so that I didn't need an epidural.  :)  Wishful thinking, I know.  At that point, I had not even heard of women who delivered naturally without pain and used the incredible power of the mind (and God's Spirit) to take away fear and pain.  Regardless, without taking the time to write all the details of Josiah's birth story, I'll just mention that I ended up getting an epidural when I was 9.5 centimeters dilated; and although it provided some initial relief, it also slowed my progress and made it extremely difficult for me to push.  The pain returned, the baby still wasn't out, and I nearly went out of my mind before he was finally born two and a half hours later.  Four months later, Jeff's sister had her first baby; and we were at the hospital, waiting to welcome our new little nephew into the world.  At one point near the end of her labor, Jeff was in the hall outside her room; and when he returned to the waiting room where I was playing with Josiah, he said in amazement, "She had an epidural, and she was laughing!"  Even with my epidural, I certainly didn't laugh when I was that close to delivering Josiah--not until after the birth, at least.  :)

So I didn't accomplish my goal of a natural childbirth, but I was just fine with that and didn't feel bad about how my labor had gone (well, I felt bad that the epidural didn't work better, but that's all).  :)

When I was pregnant with David in Israel, I again thought it would be neat to have a natural childbirth--if the pain wasn't too bad.  I was such an optimistic second-timer.  "Surely this birth will be easier than the first, right?"  And it was.  Easier, and shorter.  But even still, if I could have gotten an epidural, I would have.  The only problem was that when we got to the hospital, I was already dilated to 9 centimeters, and there was no time for one.  (The rest of his birth story is here).

I vividly remember that after David was born, I had the strongest sense of relief I had ever had up to that point in time.  I can't overstate how deeply the word "relief" became real for me, as I sank down onto that beanbag on the floor and held my newly-delivered son on my chest.  Besides the obvious relief of "the baby is out of me!", there was also a strong sense of accomplishment because I had done it naturally without pain medicine.  "Now I'm a real pioneer woman," I thought.  "Now I've reached that goal I've had ever since Carolyn Fields started influencing me.  :)  Now I can check that off my list.  Now I've proven myself.  Now I'LL NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN!"  :)

Before Tobin's birth, I wasn't opposed to the idea of getting an epidural; but I had done some reading about childbirth without pain and my mental preparation was the best of any of my deliveries.  As I've written about here and here and here, I felt GREAT up until the very end.  However, once again, I hit the wall of "I can't take this, and I'd rather be dead"  :)...but it was short-lived, and Tobin was born soon after, and life was BEAUTIFUL.  Another birth without an epidural!

And then with Shav, I've documented (here, here, and here) how I wanted an epidural.  Really, really wanted one!  But the nurses couldn't get my IV started quick enough; and before I could get the epidural, I was completely dilated and ready to push.    Yet another birth without an epidural!

I don't feel like I should get any kind of Hero Award or Strong Woman Medal...or Woman Crazy Enough to Deliver Without an Epidural Badge.  If circumstances had been different, I would gotten an epidural each time - for sure!  However, I am EXTREMELY grateful that my deliveries went the way they did because--this is the best part--in my experience, you just can't beat the recovery from a natural childbirth.  I have loved the ability to get up right away, shower, walk, be normal, etc.  That, to me, was the major difference between my epidural birth and my natural ones.

And all of that is why I feel like I fell into natural childbirth through default.

********

My latest post for The Foodie Spot is up - a perfect meal for when it's 5:57 PM and you suddenly ask yourself, "What are we having for supper???"  :)

What I've Learned in the Kitchen This Summer

~ Canning tomatoes isn't difficult, but it is a little time-consuming and A LOT messy. In fact, it's impossible to can tomatoes and keep your kitchen clean and neat at the same time. Which reminds me...one evening, Dad walked in for supper while I was in the middle of getting a cannerload (that's odd; my computer tells me "cannerload" isn't a word!) :) of tomatoes ready; and as I bemoaned the state of my kitchen, he looked around and then said, "This kitchen isn't messy!" Bless his heart. He's a good man. In actuality, it was horribly messy with almost every flat surface covered with some kind of canning paraphernalia and sticky tomato juice; but I guess he was looking through a man's eyes and didn't think it was so bad. Bless his sweet heart.

~ One of the sweetest sounds of summer is the "pop" that comes from jars sealing.

~ My man has proven once again that he can can.  Salsa and hot peppers (jalapenos, cayenne, habanero, etc.) are his specialties, and I'm not sure how many quarts he's canned (a lot).  My Fisher Man is hot--in more ways than one.  ;-)