Monday, August 30, 2010

Confessions

They say confession is good for the soul.  So here goes...

But first, I adore this boy.
Scooter II, I love you!

OK, time to tell my secrets.

1. I'm intimidated by baking.  Oh, cakes and cookies are easy enough; but anything involving yeast (bread, pie crust, bread, pizza crust, bread, cinnamon rolls, did I mention bread?) seems so difficult to me.  So I don't do it.  But one of these days/months/years, I'm going to be a big girl and get over my yeast-phobia and learn how to really bake.

2. I love McDonald's. I know smart, health-conscious people are supposed to dislike McDonald's because what do they make those hamburger patties out of anyway?  But honestly, McDonald's makes me happy.  I do get tired of it if I have to eat it a lot--by the end of our vacation last month, for example, I was more than glad to not have to eat McDonald's food for a while--but every once in a while, I love to pull into the drive-through, roll down the window, and order up some greasy, fattening yumminess.  I felt that way when we lived in San Diego (when I was pregnant with Josiah, I would occasionally get a serious craving for a Big Mac and Chicken McNuggets with sweet & sour sauce), when we lived in Israel (it was a treat for Jeff to take Josiah and walk to the nearest McD's and bring home food for us), and now that we live here.  I do not, however, like the silly, cheap plastic toys in the kids' meals; they clutter up our house until I can discreetly throw them away.

3. I'm not caught up on laundry.  Not even close.  In fact, my laundry situation hasn't been this bad in a long time.  Way back in February, I took drastic measures to conquer my laundry; and it worked.  But I haven't been able to maintain it so I've had ups and downs.  And right now, I'm having a major down.

4.  I rarely use my clothesline.  Despite the romanticism of fresh sheets hanging from the clothesline, I do not find it convenient to lug myself, a basket of clothes, and some boys out the door to the backyard so I can hang up clothes...which I will then have to return to in order to take them off the clothesline and bring them inside to be folded.  Maybe when all my boys are old enough to transport themselves--and mature enough to not wander off and to come inside when I say it's time to go in--maybe then I'll become a frequent clothesline user.

5. I haven't been doing well with my weight.  I rejoiced back in March when my scale registered lower than 150; but in the five months since then, the lowest I've ever gotten is 146.6.  And truthfully, my weight has bounced around between 147, 148, 149, and even higher.  This morning it was 148.8.  I need to be much more disciplined in this area if I'm ever going to lose the 10 pounds I'd still like to see disappear.  Ugh.

6. I have too many blog posts started.  I get an idea for a piece of writing I want to develop, but other things come up and I never get back to putting the time into it to finish it.  Right now, for example, I've got a dozen posts started; and some of them have been hanging out in my drafts folder for months.  Yikes.  I need more discipline in this area, too.

7. I never did get my homeschool closet organized.  In this post, I announced that I wouldn't be able to plan for homeschool this year without getting the closet organized.  Well, the closet is still a mess.  But somehow, the year is off to a great start!  Maybe that's because I rescued the books and supplies that I need from that closet and brought them into the living room which is indeed organized.  I don't have to look in that closet every day, which is wonderful.  I do, however, still need to organize it.  Sigh.

8.  I'm not good at watching movies with my boys.  I know that "good moms" sit down and watch movies with their children so they can discuss them together and use it as a teaching tool as well as bonding time.  I, however, use the time that Josiah and David are watching a movie to make dinner, clean up the house, do some laundry, make notes about things for school, etc.  I can't remember the last time I actually sat down and watched a whole movie with them.

9.  I can only keep one room of my house clean and neat at a time, it seems.  Tonight it's the living room that looks good.  I cleaned it today and put up fall decorations which made me happy--especially when I thought about how last year, I never did put up my fall decorations because I was so overwhelmed with life with Shav, the newborn.  Today I felt energetic, happy to not be pregnant, able to focus on more than just survival; it was fun, and I felt satisfied with my accomplishment.  But tonight, I look around at Tobin's room which has toys scattered all over it, the upstairs bathroom which needs more cleaning than just a swish & swipe, the laundry room (see #3 above), my bedroom which is not currently the peaceful retreat that I want it to be, etc.  And I feel discouraged.  What good is it to get one room in great shape when there are 10 other rooms crying out for attention?

Well, now that I've laid my heart bare, I'm supposed to feel better, right?  If confession is good for the soul, some relief should be making its way toward me soon, correct?  OK, peace, I'm waiting for you.

Ummm...you don't have to take so long.

Really, it's all right, you can come out now.

Peace?  Hello, peace?

Relief?

Good feelings?

Anyone?

Sigh.

I guess I'll go to bed.  Maybe they'll show up in the morning.

8 comments:

Stacey said...

most days I have to force my self to put a load in the washer and that does not even happen everyday. then there are days I go in spurts and wash more than a load or 2. Sigh... There will always be laundry and dishes, until we get to heaven! Oh Glorious Day!!! Some times I just walk through every room and pick up 5 things that need to be put away. It helps. Then other times I get a laundry basket and walk through a room and hunt and gather the things that need to be put away, then with the basket on my hip I am able to deposit things in their proper place. Baby Steps!!!

Sally said...

Remember, you're laying up treasures in heaven! You're helping your children remember their Creator in the days of their youth. You're also human (and maybe just a wee bit more like me than I originally thought). Sleep well, and I'm about to start myself. I trust things will look better to me in the morning too.

P.S. Also remember that everything that is visible can and will be shaken, in the end, that is, and only those things which are invisible will remain.

mary bailey said...

Davene, you deserve an award for being "Confessor of Us All"! I can relate to every single thing you wrote---well, except for your weight; I haven't seen those kind of numbers since I was a new bride :-)

I love to bake but I don't do yeast. Numerous areas of my house are disorganized. I try to keep my front room clean in case anyone else drops by but the rest of the house is either a wreck or a WIP. I rarely watch "kid" movies with my son. And, I've decided I'm never going to be caught up on laundry this side of heaven :-)

Really, we ought to tell each other these things more often. It takes the pressure off!

Blessings to you!

Jeff Fisher said...

I still think you are the best... and I wouldn't trade you for anyone else! Maybe the reason you put up with my shortcomings so well is because you are focused on your own... so I benefit from that too! Boy am I fortunate!

Anonymous said...

How encouraging to know I'm not the only non-perfect housekeeper! And by non-perfect, I mean, most of the time I might be considered a non-housekeeper! The floors may get picked up,but rarely vacuumed and mopped. We won't even mention the dusting! Dishes and laundry happen in a timely fashion sometimes; alot of times on an emergency basis! We do eat fairly well every day, since my husband doesn't eat cold food (sandwiches, cold leftovers, the easy stuff).

Gail Puffenbarger said...

I'd forgotten which identity I used in the comments; now I figured it out and am not "anonymous". On the lighter side, I took the last green beans to auction this morn., and am happy not to have that huge picking to fit in anymore. They surely went downhill quick this past wk. I must get outside and pull more corn yet this eve., and Bobby's already asking for supper! His watermelon snack after nap hasn't held too many hrs. After a late night and early morn., I do need to wrap it up sooner tonight, or we'll both be grouchy and set up for a hard day tomorrow. We don't gather eggs tomorrow, but we do get dinners for the chopping crew. I also hope to get the grapes picked, and at least some canned. I did do my peaches last wk.--39 qts.canned and 20 qts. frozen, plus 11 qts. of corn. The last bu. of peaches must ripen yet, and I'm guessing they'll do it in small bunches. I was pleased w/ my 2 trees for no more care than they got! I must get off of here, and get busy!

Margie said...

You like McDonalds? Actually, your not using the clothesline and not watching movies with the boys were also surprises (though McD's truly topped the list). We all have our things- and speaking of unfinished blog posts, I've written somewhere of my enjoyment of some really ridiculous TV shows, but I'm too embarrassed to admit them (and have no time to watch, anyway!).

Amy said...

Davene,
I had so many thoughts on this post. I decided to share a few with you.

Baking bread~I just recently started baking bread. I am not as good at it as my mother, but have decided that I will give it a go. I certainly did not do this when my boys were Shav's age!

Laundry~Does anyone ever get caught up?? I always figure that once I get caught up, that evening there will be clothes in the hamper again! I'm just thankful that we all have enough until the next load!

Clothesline~I love, love, love my clothesline (in nice weather). I will not hang clothes out when it is cold! However, again, I did not do this when my boys were Shav's age.

Weight~I am trying to teach myself to not worry so much about the number. As long as I feel good, my clothes fit good... But it is hard to break myself from that scale in the bathroom!

One room clean at a time~I can rarely get more than one doen at a time. But, I don't think the boys will look back and think, "My mom was a horrible house keeper." I hope they remember the fun I had with them, and things I did with and for them. I the end, that is more important.

I kind of went long here, I could certainly identify with lots of what you were saying!