The Two Hardest Things...

...about this 2-days-past-my-due-date predicament that I'm in are these:

Physically, the right side of my back begins to ache mightily in the night; and every time I have to get up to go to the bathroom or check on the boys, I'm almost afraid to take a step on my right foot because I feel like I might fall over from the pain when my weight is on that side. It eases itself out eventually; but when David is coughing continually and needs some medicine (like last night) or when Josiah has a bad dream and calls out for me (like the night before) or when my bladder is about to overflow, I don't have a few minutes to stand around and wait for the pain to lessen. I keep forgetting to ask Dad if I can borrow a cane; I really think that would help! :)

Mentally, my anxiety over the health of my baby has skyrocketed in the past few days. Something about being overdue makes me think of a deteriorating placenta, lack of sufficient amniotic fluid, troubles with the cord (now and particularly during delivery), etc...basically everything that could go wrong. The fact that Baby's cramped quarters are leading to less vigorous movements doesn't do anything to reassure me. When I lie in bed and the baby is quiet and still instead of doing the acrobatics to which I've grown accustomed, my mind begins to travel the evil path of worry. Recently, after I had told Jeff about this, he got out the old-fashioned fetal stethoscope that my dad had passed along to us a long time ago, put the head part on his head and the ear parts in his ears, looked like a coal miner about to go underground in his strange get-up, and listened to the heartbeat--too bad no one took a picture! He tried to let me listen to it, but I didn't hear anything at all and quickly took it off because the stethoscope is so tight it hurts my ears! But I was glad Jeff got to hear the heartbeat. :) I know my worry is unfounded, but The Truth in Pregnancy Documentation on One's Blog that I faithfully adhere to demands that I own up to this. :)

Well, those are the negatives; here are some positives...

~ continuing to have time for relaxing activities, like listening to barbershop quartets at the free concert in Oakdale Park tonight (technically, last night, since it's after midnight now and a new day has begun) while I ate an M&M Blizzard from Dairy Queen and Jeff watched the boys on the playground

~ people--both friends and strangers--being so friendly and outspoken in their support of me during this time

~ nights that are interrupted by quick trips to the bathroom, rather than lengthy feedings/diaper changes/and PLEASE-go-back-to-sleep episodes

~ feeling the baby's hiccups inside me

~ watching my stomach ripple as an arm or leg moves

~ eliminating any worry about preemie-related illnesses!

~ still doing assorted little projects in my free time, like trying to update my Christmas card address list so that when December rolls around, I'll actually be ready to whip those out (and make it to the end of my list, which seems like a near impossibility!)

~ giving Tobin a chance to walk before the baby is born, although I'm extremely doubtful that will happen :)...he is, however, doing a much better job of cruising; and it's exciting to see progress even in the last few days...one of these days, he won't be so dependent on me for basic locomotion!

~ fulfilling Kate Sacra's wish that she would return from her mission trip to Israel in time for the birth :)

~ giving my mother a chance to get rested before the ordeal of labor (or rather, the ordeal of supporting me in labor!)

~ helping me identify more closely with the large segment of the female population who has also been in the overdue-and-wish-I-wasn't situation...I can relate with more compassion as my experience with this grows

~ reminding me that I'm clearly not in control of when the baby is born! :)

~ teaching me to trust God more fully with all the details of life!

~ and, of course, keeping a bunch of people on the edge of our seats for a few extra days :)

That's a lot more positives than negatives. It was good for me to make that list!

Here's a blog-housekeeping item: I already took down the boy/girl poll because that had closed and I recorded the final tally in a previous post. I'm also going ahead and eliminating the pregnancy ticker from Pregnology. I really liked that ticker, especially the pictures of fetal development that it included; but for some reason, it doesn't know what to do with this overdue status and is now saying that I'm 40 weeks and 9 days! Oh, dear, I hope I don't get that far. :) So thanks, Pregnology, and goodbye!

One more thing for tonight, just to keep things interesting. :) I was reading some verses tonight that have special significance because they are related in some way to the boy's name we have chosen.

Then Jacob made this vow: "If God will indeed be with me and protect me on this journey, and if he will provide me with food and clothing, and if I return safely to my father's home, then the Lord will certainly be my God. And this memorial pillar I have set up will become a place for worshipping God, and I will present to God a tenth of everything he gives me."

Genesis 28:20-22

If this child is a boy (like Jenny Sacra and I are so convinced it is!), I'll explain the connection with this passage at that time. Until then, happy pondering! :) (Maybe I'll include a different verse each day that relates to the name. Hmmm, that might be fun. Since my only blog readers who know the name are Jeff and my parents, I think the secret is safe since they're fully trustworthy. No comments giving away this secret, OK, Dad???) :)