Friday, December 5, 2008

Dear Optimism

I miss you.

You used to be my almost-constant companion, filling me with energy and enthusiasm, making even cloudy days seem sunshiny-bright, causing me to easily live up to my nickname, "Happy."

But now, you're gone.

I don't know if these troublesome pregnancy hormones drove you away; is it impossible for you to coexist with them? Maybe you're not getting enough exposure to the sun these days, and that's why you left. If so, I don't blame you. Perhaps it's all the noise from my three boys; were they too hard on your eardrums, and you had to flee?

Whatever the reason for your absence, life is certainly different without you. I drag my way through each day, chiding myself for my lack of gratitude and joy, reminding myself to just hold on--things will get better soon; they must. How can a woman so blessed feel so blah?

Please come back soon. I need the strength of hope to fill my days again.

I'll be waiting with open arms for you.

Your lonely friend,
Davene

5 comments:

Sally said...

Hang in there, Davene! If I remember correctly, around 11 or 12 weeks, things start to look up, and when you feel better, you realize how tired and "blah" you really did feel. I think fatigue robs a person of happiness at least as much (or more) than anything else. I'll be praying for you. I know it will get better.

Julie said...

Sweetie, hang on. I feel for you. Truly. And I love you, dear friend. And I know it is hard, and I'm here for you. I'm glad that I saw you at the parade tonight. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

I hear ya, Davene. There's a girl up here at your alma mater feeling similarly. I'll be praying for you!

Margie said...

Oh goodness, Davene. That's exactly how I've been feeling. I was so happy when I noticed Sarah's cute run yesterday; I felt like my old self had returned. But today - hmmm. You are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing.

Unknown said...

Oh, I get you friend! Life is hard. Especially when you are elbow deep in poopy diapers and piles of puke. Have you heard "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins? If not, go to YouTube and check it out. It puts all our mommy woes into perspective. But some days are just HARD. I remember when I had three in diapers, didn't sleep through the night for FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT and I was forever wishing time away. Now the boys are 10, 8 and 8 and I wish they were 4, 2 and 2! You're doing a super job, being a mommy to a mighty little army. Blessings as you keep "first things first." HUGS!