Monday, January 11, 2010

Depleted

Tonight I feel utterly depleted. I know (as much as any of us can know anything about the future) that I'll fall into bed in a few minutes, go to sleep almost instantly, wake only to tend to a child's cry, get up tomorrow to begin another day of doing laundry and loading the dishwasher and putting food on the table for hungry boys and changing diapers and getting spit-up on me. And while I usually rejoice in these tasks because I see the larger purpose behind them and I LOVE my role in life, tonight I just feel weary and not too excited about continuing to run on this same old hamster wheel.

I was flipping through a sweet little gift book called "To Mother" tonight and happened upon this quote by Victor Hugo:
A house is built of logs and stone,
Of tiles and posts and piers,
A home is built of loving deeds
That stand a thousand years.
"Loving deeds" - that's what I'll do. Tomorrow when my wake-up call comes earlier than I would like and I roll out of bed to face the demands of the day, let me remember that I'm building a home, one loving deed at a time.

And let me enjoy the fruit of my labor as I capture moments of love and peace and happiness with my sons. Let me not be too depleted to notice.
~ Josiah lovin' on Shav a few days ago

8 comments:

Stacey said...

I pray for you tonight my friend that the Lord would refresh you and give you a restful night of sleep I pray that God Be with your children and give them rest.

I know I get very over whelmed between homeschooling and church responsibilities, my husband and housework, Grocery shopping and...and...and.... I feel so exhausted and worn out and I just don't want to do it anymore. But God is so faithful in that HE always refreshes me just when I am about at the end of my rope.
PRAYING FOR YOU TODAY DAVENE!
yOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS!

chicknboy said...

thanks for the reminder that it is the "loving deeds" that will stand and be remembered.

Anna said...

I so share your sentiment.

Hoping you get lots of rest and sweet moments today.

Beth said...

Oh Davene. I could have written that myself. Sometimes I too feel so overwhelmed by the humdrum of each day. It feels like Groundhogs Day sometimes! But then...all the sudden I look and my children are growing before my eyes...and I am honored that I am the one who gets to be here for them each morning as they wake up, to prepare and feed them every meal, to play with them and tuck them in to bed at night. I know all too soon they will be grown and gone.

Morning said...

Davene, dear, you sound exhausted. It's all very well to steel yourself and go on, but is there any way you could get some time for yourself? Could you ask your parents and Geoff to take the kids for a picnic on Saturday, or to church on Sunday, and just go to bed or read a book for a few hours? I know your mother has a busy life of her own, but maybe for three days this week she could take the older boys for several hours in the afternoon when Shav sleeps, and you could catch up on a nap, too? (no housework allowed!) You simply can't go on and on and on just on willpower alone. If only I was closer I would happily have the boys for a day -- Boo would love them! -- so you could just rest.

Margie said...

Depleted is the perfect word, and I think all of us mothers understand too well this feeling. (Depletion - months of it - seemed to mark much of the fall for me, or at least it felt that way.)

I do love the picture that accompanied this post. It's lovely, and captures so much of the dynamics of the boys at their respective ages. Thanks for including it.

Polly said...

You are working so hard! That constant round of meals, diapers, needs....it's hard to find refreshment! Have you ever read Sally Clarkson? I often find refreshment in her words. I'd love to find a way to get her conference in Raleigh, NC in March--working on that one!!!

Davene said...

Polly,

Jeff actually got me a Sally Clarkson book for Christmas! :) It's the first one I've had, and I'm enjoying it. I agree that much refreshment can be found in her writings.

The conference sounds great! One of these years, I'll be in a position in life to go to things like that. :)