The Unexpected

Expected: that Josiah would enjoy his tennis class that started on Monday and goes until next Monday...this will be his 3rd year participating in this summer class, and it's amazing how much he's improved (with absolutely no real practice at home or encouragement from us, simply the growth in skill that comes from being 6 years old and not 4 or 5)...I was looking forward to seeing Angie, a friend from church, there because all 3 of her children participate in these classes and are really quite good (I have a sneaking suspicion that they actually practice!) :)

Unexpected (good): Kara, a friend from high school, has 2 boys that are participating in these lessons, and it's been so much fun to reconnect with her while the boys are playing!

~ David's big thrill this morning during Josiah's class was climbing on these bleachers
~ Josiah and Adam (Angie's son) making a tennis ball sandwich
~ Josiah's class

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Expected: that we would go to the downtown farmer's market after tennis

Unexpected (a little bad): there was absolutely no parking in the parking garage, and nearly all the produce available at the market is also available in our own garden or our neighbor's garden or the produce wagon at the end of the neighbor's lane...it was kind of a waste of time for me, although we did get a beautiful-looking watermelon that we'll cut open and enjoy tomorrow

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Expected: that we would go to the library for the boys to turn in their summer reading records and receive their prizes, listen to storytime, and get some books

Unexpected (good): not only did we get to see our friend Amy and her son Adam who we often bump into at the library, we also got to see Julie and part of her family!

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Expected: that we would go to Chik-fil-A for lunch because we had some good coupons (in part, from the library reading program) and were able to eat fairly cheaply there

Unexpected (bad, very bad): two boys (brothers, ages 8 and 4 and 1/2) "attacked" David on the playground there...as far as I can recall, this is the first time that the word "attacked" has been used in connection with my boys; and man, oh man, did I see red!...I was feeling a little challenged in the restaurant because of juggling all 3 boys and trying to meet everyone's needs, but things were going OK, I thought...Josiah had finished and had gone to play in the play area...David finished a little later and also went to play...I was sitting right outside the play area where I could see directly in and trying to hurriedly finish my salad when, suddenly, I saw David's crying face through the window (couldn't hear it because that glass is fairly soundproof)...I grabbed the carseat with Tobin in it and the diaper bag with keys, wallet, etc. in it and left everything else at the table, rushed into the play area, dropped the carseat and diaper bag, ran to the play equipment, and called to David to see if he could come down...I didn't know what was going on at this point...just as I was contemplating my own ascent into the playground equipment to find David, Josiah came over and I sent him up to let David know I was there and he could come down...meanwhile, Tobin, probably overwhelmed by the haste with which I had moved him and the noisy, crowded, unpleasant atmosphere of the play area had started squalling as well...I took David in my arms and COULD NOT BELIEVE IT when he said that some people had "attacked" him..."attack" is such a strong word; even the sound of it, with its emphasis on the second syllable and the "t" and "k" sounds, is harsh...I was trying to figure out what had really happened, but between David's crying and the loud environment and my awareness that David might be telling only one side of the story, I realized that I just needed to get out of there, so I took David and Tobin back to our table, calmed everyone down, then talked to David some more...it wasn't until I had gathered all the boys and all our stuff and thrown away what needed disposing of and packed away what needed saving and made our way to the car where we all got in and talked that I finally felt like I had a grasp on what had happened.

Apparently when Josiah had gone in to play, two groups of children had formed who were "against" each other in some sense, although no one was getting hurt at that point and it was all in fun, just hiding from each other, finding each other, stuff like that...the imaginative play was rougher than I would have been comfortable with, however; and I'm kicking myself that I didn't go in at that time; instead, I simply assumed that everything would be fine...in any case, David was at the top of the equipment and had not even gone down the slide once when these two brothers approached him and hit him...from what Josiah and David told me, David yelled for them to stop and Josiah who was just getting to the top also yelled for them to stop...the boys had their arms drawn back as if to hit David again, but did indeed stop and run away at that point...by the time I had any clue as to what had really happened, the boys and their mother were gone, so I didn't have the option of approaching them to discuss the situation (maybe that was a good thing!)...but boy, does my spirit get riled within me as I think about it all!

I like Chik-fil-A. They're closed on Sundays which I respect, they have an indoor playground which comes in handy on rainy or hot or cold days, the toys which come with their kids' meals have some kind of educational value and last a lot longer around here than the (almost entirely useless, in my opinion) plastic toys that every other restaurant gives in their kids' meals, and they have the sweetest older lady who goes around cleaning tables and getting drink refills and tickling babies' toes (Tobin's, today) and generally being helpful. It's not as if we often eat there; but when we do, I really do like that place (although I think their prices are too high). After today, however, I never want to go back. I'm not saying I will truly never go back, but my non-rational heart somehow feels like if we don't go to that physical place, my little David won't be hurt like that again. Of course, that's nonsense. But that's how I feel.

I also feel like I'm so glad I homeschool the boys because, for pete's sake, if something like that can happen at the playground at Chik-fil-A under the watchful eyes of parents (and with me just on the other side of the glass), what in the world could (and does) happen on schoolbuses, in hallways and classrooms, on playgrounds, and in bathrooms? To clarify: just because I feel like freaking out and never letting my boys out of my sight again, I'm not really going to do that. Really, I'm not. I know they need to grow up and maybe dealing with a bully is part of that? How messed up is that though? I'm so grateful that I never had to deal with someone like that as I was growing up. But it certainly emphasized to me the importance of some conversations I've been having with the boys recently about personal boundaries and how to deal with someone who crosses the line.

As I've thought about it this afternoon and evening, I have found a few things for which to be grateful: 1) David was bold enough to speak up and yell "stop," 2) Josiah was quick to stick up for his brother, 3) David wasn't seriously hurt, 4) I'd rather have David be hit by another kid than abused in other ways, 5) it led into an intense but good discussion of how to be like Jesus in that kind of situation...what did Jesus do when he was attacked?...what does he expect for us to do?...how do we deal with it, knowing that we don't even know who it was and there is no way to go to the attackers and get an apology from them?...how do we manage to get the heart of Jesus to simply forgive without the other person being penitent? etc. These are really questions for me because I truly felt like a mama bear whose cub was wounded. Not exactly a peace-loving, humble, forgiving spirit.

Anyway, enough of this... But it was just all so unexpected! Completely out of nowhere. One minute David is excited to go play; the next he's reeling from his first taste of violence against him. Ugh. OK, really, enough...

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Expected: that Jeff would come home from work at his normal time, we would eat dinner here, and have a regular evening at home

Unexpected (good!): Jeff came home early and said, "How about if we go to the taco shop and get some food and then go to Riven Rock to eat and let the boys play in the river?" Sounds great!!!

Unexpected (bad): bees...lots of bees...swarming around us as we were trying to eat our food. Not fun. Need I say more? (Fortunately, God protected us; and no one was stung.)

Unexpected (good!): a woman who lives near the river and whom we met some time ago through church activities came riding by on one of her horses!...it was nice to see her, and we talked for a little while...then she said, "if you can wait here for 15-20 minutes, I'll ride back, get another horse who is more gentle, and come back for you to ride him"...sure, we could wait!...I rode a little (my first time ever riding bareback), then Josiah did (his first time ever riding a horse, period!), then Jeff did...Debbie offered for David to ride, but he wasn't interested...that was really a special treat--an unexpected gift and upbeat way to close out the day--and it re-ignited my desire to someday have a horse :)

~ Josiah, David, and I on a rock in the river
~ a few times, David slipped on the wet rocks or otherwise found himself in more of the cold mountain water than he planned to be in...it was always funny to hear his exclamations! :)

~ Tobin, the Peaceful One, kicking back

~ trying to remember how to ride! "but there's no saddle or stirrups...what do I do now?" :)
~ Josiah on Major...I was SO PROUD of him because I knew he was a little scared about it all, but he did it anyway...go, Josiah!!!
~ Debbie led the horse the whole time Josiah was riding him, although she didn't do that for Jeff and I
~ the barefoot, bareback cowboy :)...Jeff used to ride a lot when he was younger, but the last time he did was before we were married...actually, the last time he rode was the first time I met his family, and we went riding with his sister who has owned and ridden horses forever...I was trying to make a good impression on her, of course, but ended up nearly fainting...the fact that the horse I was on was influenced by Kim's and Jeff's horses to move MUCH faster than I was comfortable with certainly didn't help my ability to stay conscious!...all's well that ends well, as they say; and Jeff married me anyway and his sister even likes me :)

~ in the end, Josiah and David concluded that it's easier to pretend to ride a tree-root horse than it is to ride a real one! :)