Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mother's Day Came Early

The mailman brought a few packages to us today, including a box that contained a fantastic Mother's Day gift for me--a figurine of a woman bent over her Bible, deep in prayer. The verse at the bottom is Psalm 17:6, and the verse and the sculpture are excellent visual aids for me to remind me to be faithful in prayer (although Jeff said I just liked it because the woman is barefoot--which is one of the reasons it caught my eye!). Are you wondering how Jeff knew exactly which gift I would treasure??? Well, a while back, I was looking around on eBay and saw this, so I emailed Jeff and said, "This would make a nice Mother's Day gift for me!" Subtle, aren't I? :)

I think Jeff and I have been married long enough to realize that most of the time when you try to make your partner guess what you're thinking, what you would like, etc, it usually leads to a conflict! So we've gotten comfortable with the idea of expressing ourselves and our needs/wants fairly freely, even to the point of saying, "I could sure use some words of affirmation," or "My love tank is low; I need some quality time" (for those of you familiar with the 5 love languages concept). Anyway, the fact that I asked Jeff for this gift doesn't diminish the specialness of it for me in the least! (And I didn't know that he had gotten it for me so it was a surprise when it arrived!) :)

So...speaking of prayer...were we speaking of prayer?...oh, yes, Psalm 17:6...that's right. I have thought A TON about the long post I wrote about prayer some time ago. I've pondered the words I wrote, the responses I received, and the things I've been learning since then. Here's an update...

I have been thoroughly enjoying Philip Yancey's book Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? It has inspired me and encouraged me to pray for the purpose of aligning my thoughts and will with God's to gain His perspective much more fully than I typically do in my daily life. And it has convicted me. Here's an example from the book: If I had to answer the question "Why pray?" in one sentence, it would be "Because Jesus did." Wow, that's powerful--and simple--and true!

In another part of the book, Yancey quotes from Tim Stafford who wrote: Some people say that we should pray not because God needs it, but because we need it. When we praise him, we remind ourselves of what is fundamentally important. When we thank him, we humbly remember our utter dependence on his care. When we pray for people, we are encouraged to then go out and do something to help them. From this perspective prayer is a self-help exercise. No doubt prayer does these and other good things for me, but if they are the principal reasons for praying, my "personal relationship" is in trouble. Prayer that is only a useful exercise is not conversation. It is more like writing a diary, which is also good for you, but it is entirely private and one-sided. Yancey then adds: Why pray? What makes this strange practice, so problematic for many, important to God?

That's it exactly. I still don't get how it works, how the words that I say affect God and change His mind/actions/will (and not just myself)??? But I'm hopeful that as I continue to read (this and other books), I will find more answers.

In any case, I have not at all abandoned prayer!!! If I never understand it, if I never find the answers for which I'm searching, if it remains a mystery to me until I get to heaven, I will still pray if for no other reasons than 1. Jesus did it and 2. I'm commanded to do it. So really, that settles it. Yet my heart and soul still long for a deeper understanding, a deeper grasp of how prayer really works. I feel confident that in time, that fuller understanding will come. And in the meantime, my new Mother's Day gift will remind me to pour out my heart before God and lay it all at His feet.

His bare feet, I'm sure. :)

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