Obviously

This clearly falls in the "Duh!" category...but for some reason, recently I've been realizing--more than ever before--how much time homeschooling takes! And I'm realizing that because of my commitment to educate Josiah here at home, I just don't have the time to devote to other things like I would love to do. It's a shocking discovery, I know. :)

I think because I came into it thinking, "Oh, it's only kindergarten; it only takes an hour or two a day," I didn't mentally prepare myself for what a huge investment of time it is. Even an hour or two a day adds up (and sometimes we spend longer than that doing "school," especially on days when we have a fresh stack of books from the library waiting to be read)! Even an hour or two a day, if used for other things, could result in a cleaner house...or an organized recipe collection...or a weed-free flowerbed...or fewer dust bunnies under my bed...or a bigger pile of wood carried into our porch...or perfect picture files on the computer where I could instantly find nicely-labeled pictures from the past 3 years...or laundry that's been folded by me, not by my mother who's become my perpetual laundry helper (fortunately, she likes laundry!)...or any number of other worthwhile accomplishments.

Once again, I find myself facing the battle of determining what is best and separating it from what is merely good. Even in this single year of homeschooling, the memories we have made and the conversations we have had and the bonding we have enjoyed and the growth we have seen (growth in Josiah and in me!) are worth so much more than the value of a clean house. But honestly, I constantly have to remind myself of that. As I contemplate all the good stuff that I would like to do, I can either get discouraged (which I do more often than I would like to admit)...or I can focus on what has eternal value...and feel content--no, more than content; triumphant is a better word--with accomplishments in that realm. Even if my guest room is a mess and guests are expected next weekend... :)

I know the other factor in all of this is the ongoing adjustment to being a mother of 3. In the two months since Tobin's birth, we have all made HUGE adjustments...and thankfully, life feels so much more settled and "normal" and manageable than it did many times during the past 9 weeks. But still, the care of a newborn is, without a doubt, time-consuming; and that certainly affects how much time I have available for other projects. Sometimes I feel myself getting antsy because I just don't know when I will ever get around to certain things! Before Tobin was born, I basically knew our schedule and knew when I would have "free time" to devote to whatever I chose...and even if that available time wasn't happening immediately, it was comforting to look down the road and see it coming. All of that feels very unpredictable right now. I don't know when I'll have time to blog...I don't know when I'll ever have time to catch up on the other blogs I gain inspiration from...I don't know when I'll ever be able to go through all the papers in my everlasting "pile" by the telephone...I don't know when I'll ever get around to organizing the garden shed (OK, that one is waaaaayyyy down on the list of priorities!).

Anyway, as I look to the end of this first year of homeschooling (not that we're extremely close to that yet, but I'm already looking for it!), I have to realize that it's acceptable to anticipate the summer and the extra time during that season for various projects to do with the boys and by myself...but meanwhile, I have to make sure I don't begrudge the time I'm spending now to teach my son.

On a positive note, he's making such good progress!!! His reading is coming along so well. I'm immensely proud of him. But that's another story... :)