Behind Closed Doors

If you were to come into my kitchen and open one of my cupboard doors - maybe to get a glass for a drink of water, or some oregano to add to the soup, or a handful of chocolate chips - you might find paper taped to the inside of the door. It might be:

~ a reminder of what to do if someone is choking

~ a handy chart for when to plant things and how far apart and how deep, etc...an article from Heloise about cleaning your dishwasher...a poem called "The Lord's Table"

~ an informative guide to car seat regulations...another Heloise article, this one about sparkling vases...notes about how to repel ants and how to easily clean a microwave

~ cartoons my mother clipped out of the newspaper, most of them being of the "awwww, how sweet" variety, not the "that's hilarious" kind

~ and a piece of writing I did, which was copied and saved by Mother and hung on this door
I was 10 years old in January of 1987 when I wrote this for an assignment in my English PACE 73 (for those who are familiar with ACE's curriculum). This is what it says:

If I Were a Mother

If I were a mother, I would try to be efficient. I would make every minute count. I would make myself a schedule, and fit as many things as I possibly could in it. To get many things done, I would work as fast as I could.

I would be helpful. I know my children would need me, so I would be constantly available to help them. I would try not to be upset with them, so I would need a lot of patience, too.

I would be loving with my children. I would tell them I love them, but I would also prove it with my actions. I would devote myself to them, and do all I could to make their childhood a happy one.

I don't take the time to read this every time I open that cupboard door, of course; but when I do, I am convicted by it as I see how my current style of mothering doesn't exactly line up with the one portrayed in that short composition. Rather than blowing off that sense of conviction by saying, "I was so young and idealistic then," I want to (and usually am) inspired by it to keep pressing towards the goal of being the best mother I can be - a goal that I obviously have had for a very long time!

Know what else comes to mind when I see this? I think about how my idea of the "perfect" mother was shaped so completely by the way my own mother acted towards us children. When I wrote about a mother being efficient, it's because my mother was. When I wrote about helpfulness and patience and love, I chose those words because they were outstanding characteristics I saw in her. When I state that I would "do all I could to make their childhood a happy one," it's because...

...she did it for me.