Since We've Been Home...

...from the hospital, these are some things that I have noticed about our new life.

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David seems so heavy. The first few times I lifted him after Tobin's birth, I was shocked by how heavy David felt. And he also seems sooooo long, especially when I see him stretched out when he lays down for a diaper change (yes, David still wears diapers). I remember that after David was born, I experienced the same thing with Josiah: the surprise at how very long he looked when lying down and how very huge his diapers looked next to David's newborn ones (yes, Josiah still wore diapers when David was born). And now the same thoughts are occurring to me--only this time, they apply to David's size v. Tobin's.

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When David was born, I remember occasionally calling him "Josiah" as I slowly adapted to having two children in our house. And now--no surprise here--I sometimes catch myself calling Tobin "David." Interestingly, I haven't yet called Tobin "Josiah," but I guess the fact that David was my baby and is being "replaced" means that once in a while, I'll call Tobin by my middle son's name. I'm not alone in this...my mother-in-law STILL calls my husband "Greg" (his older brother's name)! :)

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I had forgotten some things (things which, in the midst of experiencing them, I'm sure I thought I could not possibly forget). For example, I forgot how much extra laundry a newborn can produce. Between spit-up and other bodily fluids that routinely project from Tobin, he can easily go through numerous outfits every day--and night. Plus, there are blankets, sheets, burp cloths, etc. that also need to be washed. All of that creates a tremendous amount of laundry, and I'm finding that the only way I can stay on top of it is to do at least one load every day (and often, more than one load). The other thing that helps immensely is having my mother's assistance in the never-ending laundry saga. Our routine has become that every evening after dinner (which my parents usually eat here), my mother asks me if there is any laundry to fold, I always say "yes," and she goes up to the guest room to fold it and put it in neat piles on the guest bed. She does this EVERY evening. Without her, we'd all be rummaging through piles of unfolded laundry to find what we needed, I'm afraid!

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Another thing I forgot is how delightfully expressive a newborn's face can be. Tobin makes such funny faces! I sit, simply enthralled, watching him. Sometimes when I am nursing him, I plan to reach for the book next to me just as soon as he gets latched on. But then I start looking at him and I forget to stop! He nurses, I admire him, and the book goes unread (which is just fine because I know these days are fleeting, and I do treasure these moments).

Besides his amusing expressions, I had also forgotten about the sweet baby noises that a newborn makes. Obviously, there are times when he cries, and that's not so much fun...but there are other noises that are so unique to this stage and are such a joy. Little squeaks, grunts, snorts, noisy breaths, etc. Sometimes he sounds like a horse...sometimes like a little piggy. A week ago, I was sitting around a table with some other parents, and several of the moms commented to me about how much they were enjoying listening to Tobin make his infant noises. It reminded me to really listen to him and enjoy this stage before it's gone.

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My first favorite thing about Tobin was his hair. Before he was born, I had no expectation of whether or not he would have hair, and if so, what color it would be. But I was thrilled to see such a head of dark hair, and I still love looking at it, stroking it, smelling it, combing it, etc. I actually think it's starting to get a little lighter so I'm not at all convinced he'll keep his dark hair. For now though, I'll enjoy it. :)

My second favorite thing about him was the little rolls of fat on his arms and legs. Compared to my other boys, Tobin was already a rolie-polie when he was born; and he continues to be that way. This morning I was sorting through the pictures we took of Tobin in the hospital, and I also watched a little video clip that Jeff took on our digital camera very shortly after Tobin was born. In that clip, I was remarking about Tobin's fat rolls on his limbs, so that really is one of the first things (besides the hair) that I noticed--and loved--about him.

Of course, I love EVERYTHING about him!!!

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One of my favorite things that Tobin does is snuggle against me with his head on my shoulder and his arms flung over my arm or shoulder or against my neck with such abandon and such relaxation. He seems perfectly at peace--spread out against me without a bit of caution or restraint. I love to see his arms flung out like this. His legs, on the other hand, are still somewhat in the little ball stage, and he often tries to curl them up as I hold him. He reminds me of a koala bear as I cuddle with him, and I call him that. (Another of my often-used nicknames for him is "puddin' pie." Why? I have no idea!) :)

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Josiah and David have said some funny things since Tobin's birth. For example, during the first two weeks or so, Josiah kept forgetting that when I feed Tobin, it's called "nursing" or "breastfeeding." Instead, Josiah called it "milking." (Well, yes, sweetheart, that's actually a very accurate description of it; but for some reason, we don't normally call it that!)

David has asked repeatedly in the past week or so, "Can he walk?" I guess he has heard us talking about how Tobin is getting bigger, so David assumes that soon he'll be able to walk! The other thing that David has picked up from us is how to croon to Tobin when he fusses. I'll say in a sing-song voice, "Tobin, it's OK. We're here..." And David will get right in Tobin's face and YELL, "Tobin, it's OK. We're here!" Not exactly the soothing effect I was hoping for... :)

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One thing that has come back to my mind since Tobin's birth is a prayer that I prayed a lot during some tough times early in Josiah's life. I have particularly vivid memories of praying this during the LONG flights from Israel to the States and back. It's so easy to cry out to God for help and deliverance when things are rough (i.e. when you're trapped in an airplane with other tired and grumpy passengers, and suddenly your baby starts wailing), but it's harder to remember to thank Him for the good times (i.e. when you've suddenly discovered that if you read Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton over and over and over to your baby, he'll be quiet and other passengers will stop giving you dirty looks). So this prayer formed in my mind: Thank You, God, for this moment of peace. Another moment passed and Josiah was still quiet, so again, "Thank You, God, for this moment of peace." This became, for me, one of those prayers that can almost be as natural--and constant--as breathing.

Since Tobin's birth, I have resurrected this prayer at times, as a way to acknowledge God and thank Him for his constant providence (of which we are often unaware). When I put Tobin in his crib awake to teach him to fall asleep on his own without sleep props and he peacefully goes to sleep..."Thank You, God, for this moment of peace." When Josiah and David decide what they want to play and sweetly share their toys with each other..."Thank You, God, for this moment of peace." When my raging hormones calm down and I can relax in waves of contentment..."Thank You, God, for this moment of peace."

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Tobin has actually outgrown a few outfits, and this Mickey Mouse sleeper was one of them so I had to take a picture of him in it before I packed it away. Seems strange that he's not even a month old, but already too big for some of his clothes!
Just as Tobin continues to grow, so does my love for him grow and grow and grow. It's hard to contain it, much less describe it...