Winter

At the end of last week, we were blessed with a storm that brought rain--and freezing temperatures. I say "blessed" because a.) I didn't have to go anywhere so I didn't have to worry about slippery roads--although Jeff didn't have any trouble at all on our road so that wouldn't have been a problem, and b.) the ice that accumulated on EVERYTHING outside was simply gorgeous! It turned our world into a winter wonderland. I got so much pleasure from soaking in the sight of ice-covered branches, leaves, blades of grass, wires on the fence, etc. Amazing!

If you know me well, you know that winter is actually my least favorite season. It's not that I hate it, because I don't...in fact, I really enjoy getting a few snowstorms each year. But I always get eager for spring (my favorite season) to come with its warmer temperatures and blossoming plants. Winter can become a bit monotonous--bare branches that look the same, grass that's old and brown, no flowers to open and change day by day. But in the past few weeks, I have noticed the variety that we have had this winter.

First, when Tobin was born, it was sunny and fairly warm. Then, the week after his birth, we had snow. That stuck around for a little while--longer than it does sometimes--but of course, it eventually melted. At that point, I was actually glad to see the bare ground because it didn't seem so cold when I looked outside! But after having brown ground for a while, the ice came along and covered that up with sparkling beauty. This week is warmer--current temperature is 55 degrees--and this morning, I noticed birds singing outdoors. It's so refreshing to have changes in the weather!

This particular winter has been different for me personally than any other winter. For one thing, I looked forward to it more than I've ever done before; Tobin's due date accomplished that! :) I was grateful to have a winter baby; and as winter approached, I didn't have my usual tinge of sadness at the loss of warmth and light because I was thinking past all of that to the marvelous gift I would receive in January. Plus, the cold didn't bother me because of my own personal internal heater!

In the weeks since Tobin's birth, however, I have realized that, now that the big event is over, I do feel a little blue this winter. I do feel cold now. I am eager for the daylight hours to be longer (and excited that each evening, it does indeed stay light a little later!). I look forward to warmer days when the boys can run off some of their energy outside. I anticipate being able to dress Tobin in fewer layers of clothes (which is not really a big deal, but when I finally get him dressed in several layers and then he spits up all over everything, it does take longer and require more effort now to change him and get him fixed up in dry clothes than it would in the summer when I could simply put a onesie on him and he would be fine!).

The biggest thing I've noticed about winter and my moods recently is the peculiar feeling I often get at twilight. I'm certainly not unique in this; but I admit that as light slips away and night draws closer, there are times when I feel inexplicably sad and lonely. I remember one evening in particular about a week and a half ago, I was at home with the 3 boys and all I could think was, "I feel so lonely. I can hardly wait for SOMEONE to show up and be with me!" On that particular evening, I was expecting 3 arrivals: a lady from our church with food for our dinner, my parents who had gone to get milk for us, and Jeff who had not gotten home from work yet. I could hardly wait until one of them got here!!!

Fortunately, the past few evenings have been less emotional for me in this way. Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting used to my new life as mother of three. And for sure, this winter has been the best winter of my life--one that I'll never forget!

And now, some pictures from last week...

~ ice-covered maple tree
~ fence around our pasture
~ clothesline with numerous icicles
~ when the sun came out, how everything sparkled!