Because I Would Want to Know

Answers to questions people have asked us (or haven't, but probably wanted to)...

Q: Was this planned?
A: Um...well...er...planned? Uh...not exactly. Although we had never had a strong sense that our family was complete, we didn't know how or when another child would be added. We certainly didn't expect another one now; and I've actually felt a little sheepish as I've told people the news, expecting the reaction of "don't you know by now how these things happen?" But people have been gracious and have shared our joy excitedly...and God is good and knows best...and we are more than grateful for this unexpected blessing. I've quickly learned that unplanned doesn't mean unwanted. The funny thing about this (one of the funny things anyway) is that I was an unexpected fourth child...and so was Jeff. Maybe this was meant to be? I remember clearly that at one point in my adult life, I needed to ask my parents how long it took them to "want me." To clarify, I always grew up feeling extremely loved and cherished and wanted...but as an adult, I knew that if I was unplanned, perhaps it took a little time for them to get used to the idea of having me. My parents' response was that they wanted me as soon as they knew I existed, and I understand them now more than ever before.

Q: How far along are you?
A: 5 weeks, 2 days

Q: What is your due date?
A: July 18, by my calculation...I don't have an appointment at my midwives' office until December 10, so I won't know the "official" due date until then, but I don't think it will change much.

Q: How old will Tobin be when the baby is born?
A: 18 months...which is very different for me than the 2 year, 10 month interval between Josiah and David, and the 2 year, 9 month interval between David and Tobin...what makes me even more nervous about that is that neither Josiah nor David walked much before 18 months; if Tobin follows their pattern, I don't know how easy it will be for me to be 7 or 8 (or 9!) months pregnant and still carrying him around!

Q: How are you feeling?
A: Physically, I feel great! A little tired sometimes...I can't stay up as late at night as I used to (which is actually a good thing)...very minor abdominal pain from time to time as ligaments begin to stretch...but nothing at all to complain about. Mentally, however, I've experienced a HUGE range of emotions. The most bothersome is anxiety. There are a few similarities between the beginning of this pregnancy and the beginning of the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage in December 2006, and I am well aware of the fact that just because we've seen a positive pregnancy test doesn't mean we'll end up with a real baby to take home. However, I'm determined to rejoice unreservedly and savor each moment of this little one's life--however long or short it may be.

Q: Why are you telling everyone so early in the pregnancy if you're concerned about the possibility of miscarriage?
A: We're telling people now because we strive to live our life as an open book, and I personally think it would be infinitely more difficult for me to go through a miscarriage if no one even knew a thing about what was going on. We are so grateful for our friends and family who walk the path with us, whatever difficult thorns or sweet-smelling roses we might find along the way.

Q: Have you struggled with the idea of 4 children age 7 and under?
A: Oh, yes! In fact, the night after we got a definite positive pregnancy test, after my initial elation wore off, I had a really rough time with everything...which had more to do, I'm sure, with parenting my already-born children than it did with this precious unborn one. That night, before I let my head land on my pillow to sleep my cares away, I happened to pick up this month's Focus on the Family magazine; and in the column by Dr. Dobson, I read these words:
...Now I'd like to highlight the value of children.
To those of us who are familiar with Scripture, this subject might seem like a no-brainer. The Bible is full of expressions of God's care and concern for the young and vulnerable...
Unfortunately, this perspective is becoming increasingly foreign to our modern world, where children are often seen as a burden and a drain on natural resources....
Nevertheless, it is a serious error to intentionally avoid or reject something that the Lord calls a gift and a blessing, especially in the interest of pursuing fleeting pleasure...
What could possibly be more rewarding than raising an impressionable young child in the fear and admonition of the Lord? Is there anything more important than being able to answer questions--such as "why is the sky blue?" or "who is God?"--for the little ones entrusted to our care? The pursuit of comfort and convenience is utterly meaningless in comparison.
This was exactly what I needed to be told. Message received loud and clear! Thank You, God!

Q: Got any pictures?
A: Do I have pictures? Did the sun rise this morning? :) The first picture is a re-enactment of the pose (except in reverse) that Misty and I did last October when we were each obviously pregnant with our third child. Now we're both pregnant with our fourth, even though it's a little less obvious that there's a baby in there! Actually, when I look at myself, I see the 8 or so pounds I didn't lose...and the 1,000 or so sit-ups I never did. Oh well, might as well enjoy myself now...and tighten those stomach muscles later. Somebody pass the chocolate raisins, please! :)

~ at 4 weeks, 6 days
~ at 5 weeks, 1 day

Day 17 - For my 30 Days Thankful post today, I want to change the subject and highlight Jeff's confident speaking ability and excellent choice of words. He functioned in the role of worship leader for our church service yesterday; and because of the unique format of that particular service, he had quite a bit of speaking to do. He did a great job--so well, in fact, that when he was telling the story of the shouk bombing, I got chills--even though I was there and know the story like the back of my hand. But the way he brought new information into it and weaved it all together was very meaningful. I just love to sit and listen to him talk! :)