Friday, May 30, 2008

Today at David's Music Class...

...I had the familiar sensation of "Wow, out of all the kids in the world (or in this room), mine stands out to me like a brilliant flash. He is the cutest, smartest, best behaved, absolutely most wonderful child here!" Even while I was having those thoughts, I realized that each parent in that room was probably having those same thoughts about their own child...and that's such a good thing. How amazing that in a well-functioning family, our little kiddos have two (or more, counting grandparents and other relatives) grown-ups who are their biggest fans. It doesn't matter that the whole world fails to realize how incredible my kids are. ;) Because I realize it, and that's the most important thing. How sad to think of those kids who don't have parents that stand in their corner and cheer them on, no matter what.

Meanwhile this morning, while I was thinking such thoughts as "David is behaving so well--sitting on my lap when he's supposed to, holding my hand as we march around the circle, saying the rhythm patterns so skillfully...at least, my child isn't lying on the floor in the middle of the circle having a fit (although there have certainly been situations in which yes, it was my child doing such things)...at least, my child isn't still using a pacifier...etc," I happened to take a look at my child, and this is what I saw. A ragamuffin of a boy: arms and feet still dirty from the sap that he got from crawling around beneath and on the pine tree a day or two ago (should have had a bath last night, but didn't)...bruises up and down his shins (he is forever banging into something; yesterday I jokingly suggested that he wear his bike helmet inside because he was hitting his head on stuff so often, and he took me up on that suggestion!)...shorts on backwards (due to his recent surge of independence and self-dressing, they were reversed; I didn't realize they were backwards until the middle of class when he stood up to go get some rhythm sticks; even I know that cutting down his dignity and self-esteem by insisting, in the middle of music class, that he fix his shorts is a bad, bad thing, so we just went with the pants-on-backwards look until class was over and we were sequestered away in the bathroom)...thumb in his mouth. Just a small, sometimes dirty boy that I love so much it makes it hard to breathe.

I continue to stand in awe of God's plan to give every child someone to love him/her unconditionally, someone that loves that child so much that it hurts. I know this mother-love is a grand part of God's design for humanity, and I think it's one of the most wonderful things of His creation. But I do realize that not every child has that, and my thoughts continue to turn over ways to change that, for at least one child.

So these were some things I was thinking about, all during music class. Between the shaker eggs and the frog song and the animals sounds...deep thoughts. :)

3 comments:

Sally said...

Davene, you are so right! I am positive our Paul is the cutest little boy who ever lived, and I feel sorry for other moms because their little boys just aren't as cute. Then, I remember that they likely think the same thing about their little boys as I do mine!

The loving so much it hurts is a good way to put it. I didn't realize how attached I was to Paul until we had to be apart for a little while around Hannah's birth. I wanted to be the one to see all his happy times, put him to bed, and welcome this happy little boy to a new day--not somebody else!

Davene said...

Sally, your comment about your feelings about Paul around the time of Hannah's birth reminded me of how much I could hardly wait to get home from the hospital to be with Josiah after David was born. I was so eager to be with my firstborn again and for all of us to be together as a family, getting used to the new "normal" of life as a family of four!

Unknown said...

Beautifully written, Davene -- you're right that that 'safe' place within a loving family is irreplaceable.