It seems absurd to write this, but sickness has once again struck me--this time, in the form of an abdominal virus that included frequent trips to the bathroom and, worst of all, wrenching stomach cramps. Not to be too graphic, but I wonder what my baby was thinking as I threw up and set off these huge waves of convulsions in his/her safe, normally placid little world. I'm hoping that I'll pass the immunity I'm accumulating to the baby and make this one less sickness he/she will ever have to get!
This particular illness hit me about a half an hour after our lunch guests departed yesterday afternoon; at first, I was so worried that it was food poisoning and that I had accidentally cooked something bad and infected the whole family as well as our guests! The fact that my mother, too, got sick did nothing to relieve my mind; but a phone call to the Ebys and a report that they were fine made me much happier.
Happier, but still in pain. Pain last night. Weakness today. But most of all, discouragement.
I used to think I was a healthy person. I used to think we were a healthy family. But the past few months have taken away my confidence in those facts and made me wonder what in the world I'm doing wrong.
Why does it seem like we pass from one sickness to the next?
Why does it seem like, at any given point in time, at least one of us is not well?
Why does it seem like I've written way too often about our various health issues on this blog?
Is God trying to teach me something???
To keep things in perspective, I realize deeply that our minor sicknesses are nothing--NOTHING--compared with what so many other people are facing. It could be so much worse. We have so much for which to be thankful, and I do give thanks.
However, I also pray specifically:
~ for Jeff to remain healthy...he seems to be the one who floats past our germs the best, and that's a huge blessing...last night in bed, I scarcely wanted to breathe in his direction, lest he be the next one to get my latest bug...but God has protected him from most of the things the boys and I have dealt with this winter
~ for me to regain complete health...that my strength would be back tomorrow (just in time for a field trip with our homeschool co-op), that my stomach cramps would completely go away, that the sinus infection that seemed to be the source of my horrible headache last week would be gone, and that I would have grace and patience to care for my little ones in the meantime...AND that I would be able to relax even when I feel like I'm behind in every area of life!
~ for Josiah to remain healthy (since he seems to be feeling well these days!)...but in particular, for God to open his ears...at Josiah's evaluation with the speech therapist that I mentioned a few weeks ago, she tested his hearing and discovered that he wasn't hearing correctly (or at all) in the higher frequencies...she wants to test him again on Thursday and see if it has improved...if not, I'm not sure what the next step is, but it's definitely a source of concern for us
~ for David to, like Josiah, stay healthy (since he too seems to be doing fine)...although tonight he coughed a few times and asked me for some cough medicine...I assured him that he could get a drink of water and that would take care of the problem...one thing is for sure: my boys like medicine...they open up for it like little birdies with beaks wide open, clamoring for their share and jealous if their brothers get some and they don't...oh, these silly boys!...guess that goes to show how far children's medicines have come in the realm of taste since it certainly wasn't that way when my parents were children!
~ for Tobin to be healed of his runny nose, sneezes, little coughs, etc...I'm reminded of how difficult it is to know what's really going on in the body of a pre-talker, but his recent fussiness makes me think he might be suffering a bit
~ for my dad to stay healthy (you'd think with all the exposure to germs that he gets, he'd be sick more often; but no, he's not--he must have built up lots of great immunity by now!) and for my mom to recover her strength from this recent virus
I've been reading the Gospel of Luke in The Message, and these words about prayer from chapter 11 caught my attention yesterday:
Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in...
So, God? I'm asking. For health. For the ability to function and fulfill the tasks You've set before me. For the discernment to learn what You want to teach me through these times of illness. For the grace to relax and allow my body to recover, knowing that my worth is not measured by what I accomplish or how clean my floor is. But, God, could I please learn all this and be healthy at the same time? :)
6 comments:
I love that quote. It's such an important thing to adhere to, in all your relationships. One author (it was CS Lewis) wrote that so much unhappiness has been caused by people not saying clearly what they want, and trying to do/be what they think another person wants of them.
Asking on your behalf this morning for health in your family and peace for you!
PS. I put the CD in yesterday and listened to it while I cleaned!
Davene, I'll keep you in my prayers. We went through an extended period of illness in the fall of '07, so I know the emotional and physical toll it can take on you as mom. Thanks for sharing this with us, because we're praying and pulling for you. I hope that today you feel much better, and that by week's end everyone's acting as if they don't even know what illness is!
So many families are dealing with this. I don't know if there are new bugs out there or what...
But, on Josiah, have they checked him for fluid in his ears? Aaron had to have tubes placed twice because he was holding fluid, not infection, in his ears and it would come and go within hours, but it was greatly affecting his hearing. His latest tubes are still in...for over a year...and I hope they stay put for a long while. He's so much better. Just a thought...your family is in our prayers...
Sometimes it's the little illnesses that can really get you down. They seem endless. But, then, they are better than the bigger, scarier ones too, because you have the hope of getting better---one day!
It's very possible that as your family has gained more members, the viruses will take longer getting through everyone. I think it was that way in our family at home--we had a big bout of illness every winter and every summer. Colds and coughing in the winter, and fever, vomiting and diarrhea and/or the colds & coughing again in the summer. Somehow, we pushed through with normal life in spite of all that, except when someone was the most extremely ill, then they got to lay around. Anyway, I will be praying for you. I hope every winter isn't this bad for you from here on out. I'll also be praying for Josiah's ears. (I know now why I don't want to come visit this week!)
P.S. The vomiting virus has been going around in a family at our church, and also in my parent's house and with Gail's little Bobby. So, evidently there are some heavy viruses out there!
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