I could write about how much fun it was to do part of Josiah's schoolwork outside under a shade tree...how gorgeous the weather was today, with perfect temperatures and a beautiful blue sky, almost like a fall day...how successful I felt as a mom/teacher to spend this time with the boys...how silly and happy and giggly Josiah was as he practiced subtraction with a flip chart...how cooperative the boys were as they colored together.Or...
I could write about how impatient I felt as Josiah was silly with his math...how I had to bite my tongue to keep from hurrying him along...how, speaking of biting, Josiah literally bit me as we were acting out the story of God creating sharks; he obviously got into his part a little too much because, before I knew it, he was chomping down on my cheek; I know he didn't really mean to, but ouch!!!...how desperate I was for the last half hour before naptime to pass quickly so I could collapse...how harsh of an edge I heard in my voice numerous times today with the boys...how bummed I was that David woke up at 3:00 pm when I know he could have slept longer except for Josiah creeping softly into his room...how tired I got of saying "no, David" as he insisted on pushing the indoor tricycle over a card game Josiah was playing on the floor...how annoyed I felt as David reluctantly and very slowly picked up the pieces of a puzzle he had gotten out, but then had finished playing with...how exhausted I feel despite getting a decent night's sleep last night and a nap today...how frustrated I am by my inability to keep up with household things that I think should be a piece of cake to do...how discouraging it is to evaluate myself and feel like I'm not making any progress.
So which is the real day--the good one or the bad one? Both! Highs and lows, emotional roller coaster, hormones surging...can I blame it all on the pregnancy???
One thing that I don't want to do with this blog is only portray the triumphs of life and leave out all the bad stuff; after all, that's not reality...and I don't really think that's uplifting to anyone reading this. We are, of course, all pilgrims on a journey; and none of us have arrived in the courts of glory yet, so we seek to encourage each other even in the stumbles of life. But at the same time, I do want to follow the admonishment in Philippians 4 to "think on these things"--the lovely and admirable and excellent things. Yet again, I find myself saying, "It's hard to find the balance in this area!"
2 comments:
Davene,
Great, honest, real post. We need to know that we are not alone in mommy-ing, and that others struggle in the very same ways. I understand about the "spin" that we put on life, and while it's important to see God working in all areas, we are not perfect and are constantly relying on Him and His grace. Others need to see that. Our KIDS need to see that we can't do it alone.
About that "last half hour before naptime", for me it's the time between 11-12ish when we are doing lunch, play, pick-up, nap prep. Depending on the day, it can be a BEAR! I have to constantly remind myself that this will pass, and it's one of the "unpleasantries" of my job. If I try to remove myself from it, it works a little better. Maybe it's all of the practice that I had in teaching, I don't know. I remember how patient I've been with everyone else's kids, and I think that my kids deserve the same courtesy.
In fact, sometimes I step back and think, "If these were someone else's kids, how would I treat them or react?" Well, guess what...they're GOD'S kids and only mine for a little while. And He's watching me always! That helps me remember the most important thing of all...not how organized my house is but how well I'm loving my littles.
I guess I'm off to do just that as the bigs are getting ready to leave for a few days. I'll be right where you are, so call if you need a word of encouragement! You encourage me often!!!!
Hugs to you!
I think you are doing a great job balancing everything. I know it must be difficult, pregnancy can be so tiring! I know we all have days like that, where we just can't WAIT for our kids to take a nap and we are questioning why in the world we are in such a "low-patience" mood! Personally, although I love, love, love raising my son... I also love, love, love nap time! (HIS nap time, that is ;o)
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