This picture really has nothing to do with anything following, but it was cute enough that I wanted to throw it in anyway. :)*****
THE GOOD
One of the books I've been reading recently is Front Porch Tales by Philip Gulley. Actually, I should say I've been "savoring" it, rather than simply "reading" it, because I read a chapter or two at a time when I have a spare moment, and then I mull over it while I go about my day. Reading Philip Gulley's books is like eating candy: so easy to do and so much fun!
A few days ago I read this, and I am reminded of it daily when I do the exact same ritual that Philip describes here:
Every night before I go to bed, I go check on my two sons. I stand over them and watch their little bodies, the rising and falling of life within. I often pray for them. Mostly I pray that their lives will be easy. "Lord, spare them from hardship." But lately I've been thinking that it's time to change my prayer.
Has to do with the inevitability of cold winds that hit us at the core. I know my children are going to encounter hardship, and my praying they won't is naive. There's always a cold wind blowing somewhere.
So I'm changing my eventide prayer. Because life is tough, whether we want it to be or not. Instead, I'm going to pray that my sons' roots grow deep, so they can draw strength from the hidden sources of the eternal God.
Too many times we pray for ease, but that's a prayer seldom met. What we need to do is pray for roots that reach deep into the Eternal, so when the rains fall and the winds blow, we won't be swept asunder.
And so my evening prayer, like Philip's, has become, "May their roots grow deep, Lord; may they grow deep into You."
*****
THE BAD
For some reason, the big, bad wolf of fear has started poking his head into my little house recently. I think it has to do with the way that darkness comes earlier in the evenings and sunshine comes later in the mornings, but for whatever reason my thoughts have turned more towards the robbery in the past few weeks than they had for months previously. All during the summer, I didn't have to come downstairs in the dark; but now when I get up before the sun and descend the stairs, it's all too easy to think about what could be standing outside our front door.
On the one hand, I know my fears are completely silly. For one thing, lightning doesn't strike twice in the same spot, right? A future crime against us would certainly not take the same form as the last one. But even more significantly, I know that God's angels are standing guard all around us; and nothing can penetrate their defense unless God allows it. So my mind tells me all these things, but sometimes my heart...oh, my silly heart...races with fear.
One morning last week, I woke up from a dream in which our doorbell had been ringing (if you know our robbery story, you know the significance of a ringing doorbell; I think it is THE thing that has stuck with me the most from the robbery, as far as the sound of it triggering my fight-or-flight reaction)--at least, I thought it must have been a dream of a ringing doorbell because who would actually be ringing it so early in the morning? Jeff was in the shower, and I thought I should probably get up and make sure no one was really standing at our door...but I couldn't convince myself to get out of bed to see. It was that old childhood feeling of "if I don't move but stay hidden under the covers, surely I'll be safe!" In the end, I didn't even mention the incident to anyone because I was certain the ringing doorbell must have just been a dream.
But then, two nights ago, I was staying up late, sitting at the kitchen table, eating a pomelo, and catching up on some papers I needed to read through when, all of a sudden...you guessed it...the doorbell started ringing. I knew it wasn't a dream this time. It was doing this weird frantic ringing that sounded in my ears exactly like the time our neighbor pressed it so strangely and frantically in his panic. My heart started beating a million beats per minute, and I flew up the stairs into our bedroom calling for Jeff to come down and investigate. My beloved protector woke up in an instant and came downstairs to see what was going on, only to discover that the doorbell was malfunctioning and ringing of its own accord. No one was outside; no gunman stood on our front steps. So he disconnected the doorbell entirely, and we went to bed!
I share all of this, for one thing, because I want to be real. Not only do I want to share the joys and triumphs of my life, but also the challenges and defeats. But I also want to share the reassurance that God gives, especially a verse from Proverbs that I read recently. Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. (29:25) That is a good reminder for me to cling to in the midst of fearful thoughts, early morning darkness, and malfunctioning doorbells!
*****
THE FUNNY
Our friend Katie told us recently that in her church nursery, she babysat for a little boy named Archer. She got inspired by his name, so her suggestion for us to name our little boy is...are you ready?...Archer Hunter Fisher. I'm not sure how we're going to top that one! :)
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