You know a post entitled "The Pleasantness" has got to be followed by one called "The Unpleasantness," right??? Isn't that how life is--such a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, easy and difficult? (And isn't it great how I can make up words like "unpleasantness"?) :)
Not too long ago, I wrote about trying to learn to like, among other things, the bedtime routine we have in place for our boys. Much to my chagrin, writing that post didn't simply "cure" me and make me always have patience and affection as I put my boys to bed! In fact, that battle within me is still on-going.
To be perfectly honest, in recent days, the time spent getting the boys ready for bed has been the hardest time of the day for me, without exception. I used to be such a night owl, but something has changed in me and now I can get up at 6:30 a.m. for some quiet time with God but can't seem to exert the energy to joyfully get my boys ready for bed at 8:00 p.m. I feel so tired by then and am often in some kind of discomfort from this pregnancy by the end of the day. And even more seriously, my spirit feels so worn down by then. Not a good situation to start out in when I know I will be challenged by something--or many things--during the going-to-bed process. I try to remind myself that Josiah and David have NO CLUE how I'm feeling--how could they? They don't know the difficulties of being pregnant and having a body that's been invaded and emotions that have been sent on the biggest roller-coaster ride of their life. My boys are not trying to exasperate me; they just happen to be doing it unawares! :)
When I was talking to Jeff about this a few nights ago, he brought up the fact that the whole bedtime routine is so laden with rituals that it becomes extremely cumbersome. He's right, of course; but I can't figure out what to cut out. Everything seems important.
~ giving David time on the potty so he can pee and poop (and so that one day, he will actually be completely potty-trained!)
~ helping the boys brush their teeth
~ reading a devotional book with them
~ singing lullabies
~ praying (each one of us taking a turn)
~ reciting memory verses
~ tucking them in, giving hugs and kisses, saying goodnight
What could I eliminate from that list? What could I put into the routine of another part of the day, rather than the end of the day? I feel like my thoughts just go around and around on this and don't progress to any creative solutions, so if anyone else has some fresh insights, I'd be happy to hear them!
I think one of the challenges that makes it harder is that by the end of the day, I'm not the only one who's tired and prone to be grumpy. I know sometimes the boys are more emotional, simply because they're tired! But it seems like at each step of the above routine, little arguments and disagreements can break out; and that is what REALLY frustrates me.
~ whose turn is it to put the stool away?
~ who found the picture of Nightlight (a bug) in our devotional book first?
~ did David push Josiah's hand out of the way?
~ did Josiah let his hand linger to provoke David?
~ did I forget to let David open the lid on his toothpaste and--horrors--do it for him, thus completely sending him over the edge?
Sigh...this is reality in our house, folks.
In some ways, I feel totally silly even bringing this up or acting as if it's such a big deal. What's that expression about "crying over spilled champagne" or something like that? Acting immature and spoiled about a luxury? I am so aware of the fact that I'm blessed beyond measure. To have children--to have a home--to have special toothpaste for my sons--to have health--to have the opportunity to be the one to nurture and care for my boys--to be free from war...I could go on and on...but it's obvious that I need to be more grateful for the good things in my life; and if I can do that, the patient, gentle, joyful love will flow so much more freely out of me...so that after I get my boys tucked in for the night, the tears that flow from my face won't be tears of "poor me" or "I'm so frustrated" or even "I'm so tired I just want to collapse." They'll be tears of gratitude and profound realization of my unworthiness to be blessed in such a way.
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7 comments:
How about if at supper you read the devotional and let everyone pray. Then at night you could just have Daddy pray for both boys together. As far as reciting Bible verses, you could work on it through the day with them and have them try to say it with Daddy at supper.
Count your wonderful blessings. You are truly blessed. We all have bad days or bad moments. You are getting on in your pregnancy and your body is working overtime. Give yourself a minute where you sit and drink tea each day. It does not have to be long, but just to know you are pampering yourself a bit. Put your feet up. Maybe while the boys nap.
I was going to say the same thing about the memory verse!
I agree too about the bit of pampering- the only bit I get is occasionally using the bathroom with the door closed! It's good to make yourself sit down and gather your thoughts now and then. Praying things will go easier ( or at least seem to!)
Hugs :0}
At least you HAVE a routine. I remember the days of 'all right, go to bed!' that was enough for my husband! Now it is better. We do breakfast devotions. The idea to recite at supper was great. And you can sing you prayers over the children... it would be a sweet lullaby..
Hilda Rebecca
I was also going to suggest doing some of the things at dinner time. Reading the devotional...memory verses. That way, it's not just a "ritual" but can become a discussion as well.
We USED to have a long night ritual. And we sometimes still do. But not every night. That way, when we do it, it's really special. :)
I agree that your bedtime routine does seem rather long and if the boys are already tired, I'm sure this makes them prone to picking fights and irritability. The above ideas seem like great ones and I think it's wonderful that you make each of the items described in your bedtime routine such an "every day" priority.
What we did with our family was to have a "family worship" which was when Daddy read a bible story, the children said memory verses and recieved a sticker for saying it, and then we all knelt and prayed together. We often sang a hymn too. All by lamplight, signaling the end of the day, it made the children quiet to be in this flickering lamplight. We then did the bathroom needs and tucked them into bed.
If I was a little boy, I would want you to cut out the lullabies!!..LOL
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