When I Felt Loved

Love is a funny thing. Not merely a feeling, it is primarily an action, a decision, a mindset and "heartset" that chooses to love regardless of emotions. We all know that, right?

So sometimes we make the choice to show love even when we don't feel like it. But almost as important, I think, is making the choice to know and believe we are loved, even when we don't feel it. Make sense? But you know, it sure is sweet to feel loved!

Today for example, I felt loved when Jeff and Josiah pulled up in the minivan to pick David and I up from his music class; and the van was clean on the outside and--even better--smelled refreshingly of carpet cleaner on the inside. To fully appreciate this, you'd have to know that some time ago (I'm too embarrassed to admit how long ago...actually, I don't even remember...but I wouldn't admit it even if I did know the exact date!), a gallon of apple cider spilled in the back of our minivan. To be precise, it was a fermented gallon of apple cider (which I had just bought, by the way...it wasn't as if it had been sitting around our house for a while); and the alcohol content was apparently enough to put pressure on the plastic jug which forced a leak in the plastic and the cider oozed out. A significant amount--about a half a gallon, I'd say--escaped the bottle before I knew what was going on and soaked into the carpet in the back of the minivan. When I discovered it, I used some rags to clean up what I could, then sprayed Febreze on it, hoping that would take care of the problem. Suffice it to say that it didn't.

Our minivan has gone through all the stages of fermented apple cider. We've smelled a cider smell (not too bad), an apple cider vinegar smell (not too appealing), and even worse stages of progression which I don't even have names for. Cleaning it up was one of those jobs that I kept procrastinating about...and kicking myself for. To be truthful, I literally forgot about it most of the time...that is, until I actually had to get in the minivan and go somewhere. Then I would resolve to clean it up as soon as I got home. Well, that never happened...

And so, today, while David and I were saying rhythm patterns and dancing with shaker eggs to Christmas music, my knight in shining armor took the bull by the horns and tackled the smelly job of cleaning up the apple cider mess. And I had no idea he was going to do it. What an incredible surprise to discover his labor of love when he picked us up after class!

So, I felt loved.

Another funny thing about love comes to my mind. If you're at all familiar with the five love languages, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that one of my primary love languages is acts of service (I really like them ALL, but acts of service and gifts usually come out on top!). Interestingly enough, acts of service is NOT Jeff's love language, and is honestly not the easiest one for him to give. That is probably one of the reasons that I appreciated his service to me so much today, and why it made me feel so loved.

In all our years of marriage and talking with other married couples, we have never discovered a couple who shared the same love language. (Jeff, correct me if I'm wrong about that.) It must be part of that "opposites attract" thing; but for some reason, husbands and wives seem to always have different love languages. I know that's true for Jeff and I, and it certainly is a challenge sometimes to both put myself in his shoes and realize what I need to do to make him feel loved and then make the sacrifice to do whatever it is I've figured out that he needs!

This incident today reminded me of how important it is for me to learn more effectively how to communicate my love and respect for Jeff. I know that he knows that I love him, but I want him to feel that love and respect deep in his soul so that his love tank will be filled to overflowing. Besides loving God, learning how to love Jeff is my next highest priority (although, in reality, I don't always act like it)...and I long to do a better job of it.