A (Hugely) Pregnant Woman's View of the Christmas Story

During this Advent season, I have enjoyed reflecting in new ways on the old, old story of Christmas; and because I am now quite far along in this pregnancy, I find my reflections focusing on the pregnant women in the story. I've been pregnant at Christmas before, but never this pregnant...and it has brought to light for me some things about Advent that I've never considered before in such depth.

It occurred to me this past week that reading the Bible is a little like watching a TV show. How so? Because usually during a show (unless the producers want to end with a cliffhanger so the audience will watch the following week), a "problem" is presented, along with some of the background to it, and (most importantly) the solution is also presented--all in 30 minutes or less--so unlike reality. But isn't that the way it is sometimes when we read the Bible? In the space of a few verses or, at the most, a few chapters, we are presented with the background of a situation, the situation itself, and the resolution. In real life, the events described may have taken place over decades or centuries, but we read about them in 5 minutes...and sometimes miss connecting with the long-term nature of people's struggles, people's faith, and God's hand at work.

For example, in Genesis 25, we are told that Isaac and Rebekah got married, she didn't get pregnant, Isaac prayed for her, and twins were born to them. Boom, boom, boom, right? Wrong! There is actually a span of 20 years between the time they were married and the time their children were born. 20 years! That's a long time to be praying for something and having faith for it. What if we allowed ourselves to read the first part of Isaac's predicament, then made ourselves wait 20 years to read the fulfillment of the situation? Silly, of course; and we would never do that. But if we somehow could and did, it might help us connect more honestly with the real-life struggles of the men and women we hold up as heroes of the faith...and it might give us more hope for our own long-term problem situations.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, Christmas...

Being pregnant this year has fleshed out the Christmas narrative and helped fill in some of the details of how it might have been for the men and women who were part of this drama.

The first person I've been thinking about is Elizabeth. How in the world did she know she was pregnant? There were obviously no home pregnancy tests, no ultrasounds, and no fetal stethoscopes. By telling us that her age was advanced, the Bible seems to indicate that she was past menopause, so the cessation of her monthly cycle (sorry to be blunt) would not have been the clue for her. How did she know???

Well, obviously, she had Zechariah's news of the vision that he saw, while in the Temple, of the angel who promised that they would conceive a son--the same angel who, when Zechariah showed signs of disbelief, took away Zechariah's speech until after his son was born. Was Zechariah's sudden muteness simply a punishment for his lack of faith? I personally think it was more than that. I think it was a sign that was given by God so that Zechariah, Elizabeth, and all their family and friends (who undoubtedly gossiped up a storm about the situation) would constantly be reminded during those long nine months that something extraordinary had happened and a divine drama was being enacted in their lives.

In any case, we see no evidence in the text that Elizabeth doubted that she was indeed pregnant; but as a pregnant woman, I can imagine that she longed for the day when she would feel her baby move. That, after all, is one of the surest signs that we as women have even today that there really is a baby inside us!

The Bible tells us in Luke 1 that Mary visited Elizabeth during the 6th month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, and that when the two women saw each other, the baby in Elizabeth's womb leaped. Although this is not specifically stated, the conclusion that I have always drawn from it is that it was the first time that Elizabeth felt her baby move. If so, that is late for a woman to first feel her baby move. What kinds of doubts may have assailed Elizabeth as she eagerly waited for the "quickening" inside her...which seems to have happened later than in a "normal" pregnancy?

Can you picture the conversations that Elizabeth and the village women might have had?
Women: Elizabeth! How are you? How's the baby? Have you felt him move yet?
Elizabeth: Well...I'm not sure. What's it supposed to feel like when he moves?
Women: For us, it felt like butterflies...flutters...a little earthquake, etc.
Elizabeth: I thought maybe I felt something the other night, but then I realized it was just my stomach growling.
Women: Oh. Well, I hope you feel something soon.
Elizabeth: Yeah. Me, too...

Of course, this is all conjecture, so I hope no one takes me too seriously with this! But I do find myself even more inspired by Elizabeth when I consider how she seems to have reacted with continued faith even when the act of holding to that faith may have been very difficult to do.

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The next pregnant woman in the story is obviously Mary, so recently I've been thinking about her more than usual, too. The first thing that strikes me about her is how intensely personal her pregnancy must have been...if it's at all like my own has been, anyway. I think as women, no matter how much of our pregnant thoughts and feelings we share with our moms, with other women, with our husbands, etc., at some level, it's really all about us. Us--and this mysterious being growing inside us.

I think back to the "selfish" period I had during this pregnancy, when I enjoyed the bond I had with this baby so much that I didn't want pregnancy to end. (I've moved out of that stage, by the way; but it was a very real, very strong feeling for a time!) I loved the fact that I and my baby were one, with nothing separating us. I was the privileged one who was responsible for meeting every need that he had, and in return was entitled to feel each of his movements. At that point in time in any pregnancy, no one else comes close in terms of connection to that child.

And Mary had this with Jesus.

How incredibly special this must have been for her. First of all, God chose HER--not simply for her womb, since there were lots of "available wombs" in Israel in those days--but for something deeper: something in her character, something in her heart. And she was the one who was blessed with this closeness to Jesus that no one else ever had. When it says in Luke 2:51 that Mary pondered these things in her heart, I think part of that pondering involved the time that she was pregnant with Jesus and held Him so close to her heart, safe from all the forces that wanted to destroy Him.

In our Sunday school class a few weeks ago, we talked about how to deal with Mary. Practically idolized in some churches, practically dismissed in others, she is a bit of a mystery; and I, for one, have been guilty of downplaying her role in this most sacred--and human--of dramas. As I have come through this season and felt perhaps some of the things she was feeling, I have sensed a greater connection with her as well as a heightened sense of respect for the incredibly special role God asked her to play. I wish I knew more about her because I'm sure I have a lot to learn from her!

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Now that I've described how personal an experience pregnancy is for a woman, I want to switch gears and write about the way it bonds a man and woman. I can't write this from firsthand experience, of course, but it seems to me that watching the woman you love give birth is an experience like no other. In fact, from my own life, it seems that Jeff has been more in love with me after our sons' births than he was before. It simply elevates a relationship between a man and woman to a new level, and it cements it with a stronger bond than before. (I realize this doesn't ALWAYS happen, but in a functional marriage, I believe it is true...)

So I wonder, how did this affect the relationship between Joseph and Mary? My guess is that it made them love each other and rely on each other more than they ever had before, even though Jesus wasn't Joseph's biological child. In thinking this, I admit to making a few assumptions.

First, I assume that Mary had no one to help her during labor except for Joseph. The Biblical text does not specify any of the details about the birth; but as I have grown up hearing and reading the story, I always seem to picture Joseph and Mary arriving in Bethlehem as Mary is in an advanced stage of labor, they wearily knock on a few doors, they find nothing but a stable, they get to the stable, and Jesus is born very soon thereafter...certainly, that same night. This is how it happened, right? Well...it's impossible to know. Maybe Mary did have a woman to attend to her--maybe the innkeeper's wife? maybe a local midwife? maybe a distant relative of either Mary or Joseph? Who knows?

Second, I assume that Joseph was indeed with her when Jesus was born, and that he didn't suddenly feel the need to take a walk or check on the donkey in a back corner of the stable, only to return after she had delivered the baby. Again, who knows?

But somehow, even if it wasn't just Mary and Joseph together when Jesus was born, I do believe that the whole trip to Bethlehem and birth experience there did bring them closer to each other than would have been possible in Nazareth. After all, when you're separated from your home, your hometown, your family, your friends, and you're "alone" with your husband, you instinctively lean on him for help, support, companionship, love, rather than running to your mom or your best friend to fulfill those needs. Without a doubt, that's what happened to me when Jeff and I were newlyweds in San Diego and I didn't really know a soul there except for him.

And another thing--the fact that so early in their married life and in the life of their Son, a crazy lunatic of a king named Herod was seeking to kill their baby (and maybe them as well), forcing them to flee to Egypt, must have also contributed to the tightness of their bond with each other. I think it probably gave them an "us" against "the world" mentality that made their small family unit very strong. In a small way, that's what happened to Jeff and I when our son David was born in Tel Aviv and we had to "fight" the hospital system to bring him home early. But that's another story... :)

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Lastly about Mary is the obvious point that somehow she must have kept a positive attitude even during the uncomfortable times of her pregnancy. I don't think that she was perfect, but I do think that the spirit in her that led God to choose her was probably far less of a complaining spirit than the one I possess! Simply thinking about her trip to Bethlehem makes me grateful that I'm not her. Whether she walked or rode a donkey to get there, it couldn't have been much fun! And all the other inconveniences she dealt with...wow, I should keep my mouth shut and never complain again. After all, when I have pregnancy heartburn, I can easily pop a few Tums to control it. When my sleeping is interrupted by back pain, I can use a maternity pillow to ease it (not that it takes away all the pain, but it does help!). When I'm tired, I can take a nap on a comfy couch in the comfort of my own home. Mary had none of these conveniences.

And so I ask myself again, how good is my attitude when I'm not feeling well? How patiently and joyfully do I deal with the discomforts of pregnancy?

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Once again, I feel incredibly blessed to have the gift of this pregnancy at this Christmas season--and the gift of new (to me) thoughts that have come out of reflection on the well-known story. Isn't it amazing how the Bible can continue to teach us new things no matter how many times we read it or how long we live?