Tobin is one week old today.All day, I've been remembering last Saturday and following the events of that day in my mind. Sitting at the table eating lunch with Josiah and David, I remembered that a week ago, I had no clue that within a short time, my water would break and off we would go to the hospital. Over supper tonight at 6:10 p.m., we talked about how a week ago, I was in the "intense" stage right before Tobin's birth. Such vivid memories...
This week has been a week of adjustment for all of us, and it has certainly had its high points and low points. My personal cycle seems to be one happy day, followed by one sad day, followed by another happy day--back and forth, I've gone all week.
Monday--happy day: first day at home...and other than the fact that Jeff was dealing with the abdominal virus that plagued our family this week, everything was good
Tuesday--sad day: started out at 4:00 a.m. with Tobin spitting up blood--BLOOD!...I called my dad who calmly said it probably came from a burst capillary from breastfeeding and wasn't Tobin's blood...whew! but still...then a trip to town for a doctor's appointment and a few other errands; not a relaxing day...the day ended with David throwing up after dinner and then pooping in the bathtub, and Josiah and I crying in each other's arms on the bathroom floor
Wednesday--happy day: great day, in fact...Jeff was home from work, and his help with the bigger boys was invaluable
Thursday--sad day: because of the snow, Jeff had to go to work because none of the other barbers (except the new girl who came in for a few hours) were able/willing to drive in it...we really missed him that day
Friday--happy day: Jeff had to work part of this day, too...but somehow I was able to feel more confident and successful in taking care of the 3 boys by myself...I think this was the day that Josiah and David spent some time in the morning at my parents' house; maybe that's what made it an easier day for me :)
Today--sad day: inexplicable emotions...tears on the phone with my friend Julie this morning...tears here at home when she brought dinner for us tonight...I am so blessed and very, very grateful...but I'm still a woman with raging postpartum hormones, and sometimes those pesky ole hormones just have to come out in the form of tears, right?
Based on this cycle, tomorrow should be a good day! :)
I forget what day this happened, but one day when Josiah and David were sitting at the table eating lunch, I sat down to feed Tobin...and sure enough, Josiah suddenly needed more milk in his cup. I sighed heavily as I got up to get it for him, and Josiah said, "Maybe we shouldn't have asked God for another baby." Oh, what pain in my heart! To not have Tobin? Unthinkable!
On the other hand, Josiah and David have been unceasingly loving with Tobin. Tonight, we put Tobin in his bouncy seat while we ate dinner; and Tobin was very alert with eyes open, soaking in everything around him. It was his longest, most alert period of time yet; and before they sat down at the table, Josiah and David got down on the floor beside Tobin's seat and talked to him. Then Josiah exclaimed, "He's like a real person!" And later during dinner, David burst out with, "I don't believe it; he's a big white boy!" :)
Ups and downs...highs and lows...and so the rollercoaster continues...
7 comments:
Oh the tears I shed in those early weeks. Only difference is my baby's all stayed on the hospital longer than the regular stay so I was able to annoy an entire hospital staff with my crying. Happy cries. Sad cries. It ALL came out in tears.
I think about you often. The switch to 3 was a tricky one for me. Take any and all offers for help. :) You are in my prayers. :)
"he's a big white boy!" LOL...hilarious...I really needed that laugh. :-) I hope your emotional roller coaster slows down soon. Praying for peace & balanced hormones. ;)
You are so wonderfully 'real' Davine, I do so enjoy reading your blog. Change is so difficult -- I'm one of those people who wants to set everything in stone just the way it is right now, incase tomorrow is sad. But you're right, it's one happy day and then one sad one, and we have to keep on going.
Davene, I can totally relate to your fellings! But slowly your personal cycle will change to include more good days than bad. Here I am 5 weeks out from the birth of Elissa and things are really starting to normalize and we are getting into a nicer pattern and everyone is adjusting. It takes time but soon you'll hardly remember that it was so difficult in the beginning! Sending you my love and prayers!
Just remember that roller coasters are much more fun when you ride them with friends instead of all alone! Thanks for being my friend on this roller coaster ride of life :-)
Oh Vene! I'm so glad that you're documenting this. Because in a month or so, it'll all feel so smooth. the fact that you already can't imagine life without Tobin proves it! :D
I'll call you soon. Because there's so much...
I love you.
I'm still feeling like I'm on the roller coaster and Dumpling's hitting the five month mark. It's not been easy, but still he (and He)brings so much joy.
I've not been too good with keeping up on blogging. I've just skipped on a lot of the bad days. Thank you for being willing to be honest.
Blessings to you!
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