Needs Improvement

Remember those old report cards we used to get in school? With S for Satisfactory, N for Needs Improvement, etc. Maybe they still give those out?

In any case, as I've been evaluating our home life, I've noticed one area that ranks a very strong N. It is the time period from about 5:30-7:30 pm every evening. I've often heard this described as the "piranha hour"--and with good reason. Mom is tired from a long day with the kids and is trying to get dinner ready while keeping the rest of the household under control. Kids are tired and hungry, more prone to "need" Mom's attention just when she is least likely to feel like giving it. She wonders if she should just go ahead and feed them early or make them wait so they can eat with the family and learn self-denial and patience. Dad comes home from work tired; but instead of being given a break, he's instantly forced to deal with kids who have eagerly been awaiting his arrival. The supper table is not always a peaceful place...with discipline issues cropping up...little ones needing help with their food...Mom feeling like she never even gets started eating until everyone else is done. After supper, kids beg Dad to play a game, just when he would like to collapse on the couch. It seems like there's no relief until bedtime comes and the kids are tucked in for the night.

I'm painting a pretty dismal scenario, of course; and fortunately, it's not always this bad at our house!!! But recently, I've been feeling like more often than not, our household resembles this in the evening.

This has particularly been in my thoughts recently because of a book I started reading during our anniversary trip and finished a few days after we got home. It's called A Lantern in Her Hand by Bess Streeter Aldrich, and it tells the fictional story of a woman's life--from childhood to death. I LOVE this book! I've read it before and thoroughly enjoyed it; and I am certain that the next time I read it, I will appreciate it even more! It always reminds me of my grandmother...not that her life exactly paralleled the life of the woman in the book...but there are similarities, especially in the way they spent their last years.

Here is a quote from the book, and this is the quote that jarred my thinking about the whole dinnertime/evening hours stuff...
"There are many memories. But I'll tell you the one I like to think of best of all. It's just a homely everyday thing, but to me it is the happiest of them all. It is evening time here in the old house and the supper is cooking and the table is set for the whole family. It hurts a mother, Laura, when the plates begin to be taken away one by one. First there are seven and then six and then five...and on down to a single plate. So I like to think of the table set for the whole family at supper time. The robins are singing in the cottonwoods and the late afternoon sun is shining across the floor. Will, your grandfather, is coming in to supper....and the children are all playing out in the yard. I can hear their voices and happy laughter. There isn't much to that memory, is there? Out of a lifetime of experiences you would hardly expect that to be the one I would choose as the happiest, would you? But it is. The supper cooking...the table set for the whole family...the afternoon sun across the floor...the robins singing in the cottonwoods...the children's merry voices...Will coming in...eventide."

When I read this, I sighed and thought, "Oh I would love for my piranha hour to become the happiest time of day! Will it ever be this way for me???" But I've come to realize that, instead of being discouraged, I have to believe that it will get better. This stage of life will pass...the children will not always need their meat cut up or their applesauce fed to them...they will be able to play together more independently without so much intervention from me, even playing outside without an adult present...all I can do now is strive to keep my heart happy and my face and voice cheerful as I cling to God's strength to get me through even this most difficult part of the day. I realize, of course, that by having another baby, I'm making this whole situation worse rather than better! But I know someday, we'll be in another stage of life with less direct intervention required from me to simply help my children with the very basics of life...and after that, we'll reach the stage of plates disappearing one by one from our table. In THIS season of life, I want to learn how to make our evenings together a special time of joy and peace and love.