Pregnancy Humor

As I go through the joys and pains of pregnancy, I find I can always use a little pregnancy humor so I was happy to see this recently in a babytalk mom-to-be magazine. I'll type it here because I know it's a little hard to read in the picture...(and I don't know how to type an "e" with an accent mark on top, so in words where it's needed, please substitute it mentally!)... :)

Cafe Preggers

We always have just what you want, at any stage of pregnancy--from the queasy beginning to those last weeks when the baby has taken up every ounce of spare room in your belly.

*****

First Trimester Menu

Appetizer

Tums compote

Entree

Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines

Beverage

Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)

Dessert

Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

*****

Second Trimester Menu

Appetizer

Half a roast chicken, extra crispy

Entree*

A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)

Beverage

Toll House pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream

Dessert

9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies

*****

Third Trimester Menu

(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break.)

Appetizer

Three bites of tossed salad

Entree

Two bites of lasagna

Beverage

None-so you'll have room for dessert

Dessert

A Tic Tac

*Double portions available if you're expecting twins

I find myself still in the first trimester portion of the menu, but I sure am looking forward to the second trimester part! I was thinking tonight as I looked in the refrigerator for something to eat and tried to talk myself into choosing something, that it really is ironic that just when I have a green light to eat anything I want (except sushi, unpasteurized cheese, etc...I know, I know...but most of that stuff is not a strong temptation for me anyway!), I don't feel like eating anything! I tell myself, "We have chocolate ice cream in the freezer, and you can have some!"...but nah, don't feel like it. "There are Double Stuff Oreos in the snack closet!" Doesn't sound appealing. "How about another piece of chicken?" Ugh. "A Hot Pocket?" Nope. "Some rice?" OK, I guess I'll force myself to eat it, since I know the nutrition I got from the Auntie Anne's pretzel I ate around 6:00 pm is probably not sufficient to carry me through til morning. But can I have a lemon to suck on, too???

Just when I think I'm past these early pregnancy trials, one of them pops up again and slams me down. I thought nausea was over, but this afternoon I was feeling it again (though I have nothing to complain about; it's been so mild in general). Same with fatigue--I had written in my pregnancy journal a few days ago that during the 9th week, I felt like I was really settling into the pregnancy--being less anxious, enjoying it more, feeling better physically, having more energy, etc. But when I dragged myself out of bed this morning (even after having gone to bed early last night), I was EXHAUSTED...and couldn't even imagine how I was going to make it until 1:00 pm this afternoon when I could lay down for a nap after David was in bed and Josiah was having quiet playtime.

Oh, well, it all keeps me on my toes, I guess. I never know what's going to pop up next!